Feeling Upside Down..

its late now. I can't sleep, no.. i don't want to sleep. Even though my body alarmed that its time for bed, i refused.

There are many things to think. Too many thoughts to deal with, suddenly i just want to break down. Break away.... Last night.. i ran to bed, hid my face under the bolster. Maybe that is the sign of escaping from the reality and terrible thoughts. I knew it well enough that i should not hold back and i should not even dig into the awful memories. The fact that life is cruel, it just constantly keep me reminded of my wrongdoing. Thank you for being with me. I need strength and assurance.

Telling or saying something to someone is the easiest act, i made myself useful in this way. I guess im the weirdest person. Emo, pessimistic or whatever it means..

Im exhausted. Maybe i have been mugging to the extreme for assignments and researches. I think i need a break.

Ironic. The soul in me always guide me to the path of silly doings. Today, i felt the threat of sudden death. Im afraid to lose anyone precious to me. Family, Baby, Friends.. everyone in my life. Unvoidable most of the time.

I will cherish this life, next life.. and every bit that keeps me staying alive.

Goodnight.