Happy note.

A sad note to begin with.

Ended my long vacation leave. Back to work today. Boo~

On a happier note, I had a wonderful weekend.

Remember your promise, my promise, our promises. <3

我的真心

感触很深。。

忽然之间，我感觉这世界好陌生。 我到底属于哪一个角落。

我的外表是冷静的，但我的内心是在颤抖着。 我好需要一个依靠。

我要的不只是个情人，我也期盼着一个能够让我的心是温暖的， 是温馨的。

多么希望能一辈子当我父母亲的小孩，那天真无邪，那长不大的小女孩。

我好想念离开了的亲人，你们在天国过得开心吗? 是否会有难过的日子?

能不能让时间停留在那些美好的时光?

我要我的回忆里都是好的。。

Insomnia.

I started taking sleeping pills.. AGAIN!

This is not supposed to be the case. Imma on leave and i should be sleeping well every night.

Soon.. yes very soon.. i might be admitted into the sleeping disorder unit at SGH. I should seek help from the professionals.

Finally..

I stepped out of the house to breathe in some fresh air.

It felt different between in and out of home.

These days, i would choose to stay home when i am unhappy or troubled. I don't know how to express my feelings and thoughts, and i'm really afraid to speak my mind.

I used to be chirpy and outgoing. Its not the same now. It's becoming pretentious. I have loads of thoughts running through my mind, sometimes i can't breathe.

My perfect piece of picture that i kept all these while is never the same one. There are stains and marks on it which i don't want other people to see it. I want everyone to have the indent impression of this piece of beautiful picture, and remember the goodness of it. Hence, i hid it somewhere whereby no one can see, no one can find.

Today, i received an sms that reads: 'Remember if you need a friend, anytime anywhere i can be there for you. I am just a ring away.'
This sms meant a lot to me.

I am contented. I am blessed with many genuine and good friends who really love me for who and what i am. They never attempt to change me. They are the ones who stood by me, listen to me, hold my heart, and guide me along the good and bad times.

Thank you guys. You know who you are. I love all of you. Thank you.

可不可以愛我

寂寞

The impression.

My trip to Taipei & Hongkong was a fruitful one.

I stayed in a hotel that i thought it felt like a second home. The hotel attendants are really warm and friendly souls. The drivers are really chatty.

Generally, the Taiwanese are very nice people. They are well-mannered and helpful.

The weather was chilly. I have always detest cold weather and i sweared that i won't travel to countries during winter. Although it wasn't winter and it ain't snowing there, but the temperature was unbearable. I wanted to be home badly, but i'm missing Taipei now.
I don't know.. maybe it's the people, the environment, or even the weather.

The one thing that impressed me was..

the citizens actually queued to dump their garbage. This will never happen in Singapore.

Well, the last night in Taipei. My boyfriend and I did a good deed. While we were walking to the MRT, we saw this troubled lady. She was seeking help from a security officer to view the CCTV to see if her daughter was caught on the video camera. After paused for a few minutes, we decided to proceed on. She shouted out to us to help to keep a lookout for her daughter. We acknowledged and continued walking. I thought we should walked a faster pace in case we missed the little girl. From a far distance, i saw this little girl crossing the road. Although she was walking near to this couple pushing a baby pram, it seemed like she ain't related to them. I urged my boyfriend to race across the road as the green man was already blinking.
I was right. She was the little girl that the lady was anxiously looking out for.
I was absolutely elated that we found her. She almost crossed another road without looking out for cars. Thank god. We walked her back to her mom, and saw the two hugged each other in tears. What a touching scene. Parents should really watch out for their kids at all times.

Mee Sua. Hotspring. Shopping. XiMenTing. Beitou. Shih Lin Night Market. Raohe Night Market. Tong Hua Street & Night Market. XXL Chicken. Sausages... i missed.



What about Hongkong. I think it was too short time to know the people better.

I merely stayed in Hongkong for 2 nights. I was at Disneyland for almost one full day. And of course, i visited other places such as Mongkok, Central, Causeway Bay, Wan Chai.

In Singapore, besides night life the shopping malls would be closed by 10pm. Whereas in Hongkong, shopping malls are still quite busy when it was closed to midnight.
The streets are packed with people and it felt different.

I guess i have grabbed every opportunity to experience life in foreign countries.
My boyfriend and I took MRT and walked a lot from places to places.

I fell in love walking in the streets. Taiwan, i will be back next year.

lines of crack

I cannot describe the kind of pain and damage caused by the humiliation that came from a loved one.

From a lack of self confidence and self esteem, i'm becoming invisible.

I don't know who can help, but i know i have to save myself from dwelling deeper into misery.

Can't remember since when i started to give up on myself.

I kept fighting. I kept nursing this broken thing. But each time the soft spot in me gives way, i began to doubt my ability.

What am i good for? I really don't know.

It really hurts.

God. Do you still love me? Will you help to overcome this difficulty.

I don't want to give up.

Mark the first day of my compliance leave

I slept at 4ish in the morning and woke up 5 hours later.

Well, i sorta expected this to happen. It will probably take me a couple of days to adapt to this change. The change in daily routine. For the next two weeks or so, i will have to pretend that i'm a homemaker.

Sometimes, when you have already been used to the sleeping trend and lifestyle, the sudden change will cause you to feel a bit lost.

I have no plans as of what i should do for the next few days before i fly off on a short trip to Taipei/Hongkong.

The level of noise outside my unit is causing me a headache.

Dad told me that the construction work stopped for quite sometime. I guess i'm really lucky to experience the powerful noise pollution on the first day of my compliance leave.

To be frank, i'm starting to miss my office. I'm thinking about work..thinking about the unresolved issues.

Something is really wrong with me....