Met poly mates for dinner at Sushi Tei last evenin.
Mostly already stepped into the working society, as well as a few NSmen. Im the one & only FULL-time student...loll...

After dinner, we chilled at coffeebean and played saboteur card game. Previously i played the game with kb's frens, wasnt really fun. However, playing with people that u know, the game can be fun. well, i enjoyed.

Thereafter, the group went separate ways. Kb & i took a walk along the route toward my place. He insisted to send me to my doorstep. Initially, i intended to walk all the way back. But...i was with heel. After we walked abt 3 bus-stops, i surrendered. lol.. we took a bus instead. we had a good chat, that we never getta do so in the past. boy, u better take care of your health.

Get back to revision for now..

Declaration to the very important friends in my life:

There is no doubts on the love that i have for my family, its the genuine and unpretentious love. Thus, i won't be going into details on my parents and the one and only elder brother. Nevertheless, i would still wanna bring this up that the tie between my brother and i has improved. im glad.

1. To my dearest 'Sweetheart' that i love a lifetime
In sad moments, there is always a reason for me to cheer up as i know that i would always have you close to my heart. Its not about the distance, frequency of meeting up, chatting on the phone etc. Its the amazing part that we clicked so well. We shared everything with each other, did silly stuffs together, got drunk together, ever worked together and most of all, we are both the 'nutcase'...there are so much to be kept in memories. Thank you so much for the love, care and concern you have showered on me all along. I know that we will think alike, and continue to build an even stronger foundation for this friendship becos its priceless. My 'dudu', sweetheart.....loved you all along, and forever and ever. Im always here & will never leave. "Remember who gets married first, the other will have to be the bridesmaid"....

2. To my Bestie Dan
When people say that a guy and girl can never be good friends, not even best friends. However, we proved them wrong. A gentleman who is very concern towards all his friends. Whenever i have problems, he will be there to offer a listening ear. He helped me along the way, did a lot of task for me..very greatful towards him. I will be there for him so long as he needs me. That's a promise. Whatever that he has done for me in the past, its never forgotten. Its all kept in the heart.

3. To the other Bestie Amelia
Although she is often on M.I.A mode, she is one of those that walked through the same path as me. Since sec sch days, we worked part time at the same shop, even till poly. My parents loved to call her "shang pole' which means 'skinny'. Especially lately papa would joked about the 'skinny' that is no longer skinny, cos she has put on some weight. There are plenty of wonderful memories. I just hope that more effort can be put into this friendship even as we get busy with life. I will always be here for her, and its for sure. If she ever disappear from my life, i will put up the 'doraemon' picture on the 'missing' notice board. lol..

4. To my soulmate and confidante Sonia
She knows my darkest secret, and i know hers too. Its always wonderful to have her around, she makes me happy when im bothered. We shared those "stories" of our life, laughed at the stories. no tears or sadness when im with her. You know what..im touched that she actually told me she loved me. There was a period of time we drifted apart. Thereafter, we contacted and begun to click. That period of lost touch did not cause any side effect on the friendship. Im gonna tell her: 'I Love you, too'!! We will continue our drinking & ktv session..plus ocassional clubbing activities as we grow old. here with you always..

5. To Karin & Shuling Dear
They are the polymates that i mixed around with all the time. Karin - i guess i wouldnt need to say much, you know me well enough. And i know you more than enough too. I'll always be here for you. Whenever you call, i will be there. Shuling - many thanks to her for the period that she been through with me during the change of class. she chose to join me with another class, when i failed one of the modules and had no choice but to leave my own class. during depression period, she was always there for me. remember whenever you need advice and help, Nana will be here for your rescue. I know you are very busy with work, i keep you in my heart always. Both karin & u would be my Dears forever..........Muackz

Beside these people, there are many other friends that i cherished and would like to keep them forever as friends.

- Tracy Dandandandan~ (muackz)
- Pengsiong son..(you're my son this life & the next few lifes!.. you've been great. Thank you!!)
- Yixiu son..(don't just call to complain, care for your mum please!! ha!)
- Andy (any takers? he's single & available)

and many more....

My greatest love to all those who have been through ups and downs with Nana. Those that make me feel that im worthy as a friend. Thanks a million times!!! Hugs!!

Its morning where people prepare themselves for work, while some would be in deep sleep...

however, not until i finished with this post, i will be able to hit the sack.. fall flat and sleep till the latest time that i wanna wake up from.

Same place, same companion with common topics to talk about the whole night. I needed to chill out, drink and whine a bit on some happenings be it school or people related. Its always the neverending conversation about that particular topic. I do hope that the day would come, my dear fren would conquer the fear in her.
Most of the time, we allow our mind to control us. Why not leave it to destiny, fate? Make sure we would not be regretful over a choice that we make, be it to move forward or draw back from one scenario to another. Its hard to convince ourselves as to the crucial decisions in life, yet its realisable that things must be surfaced, handled and settled soon before problems arise.

Each time, i would act like a mentor, preached about love. I yearned that it might happen the next time with some good news pass on to my ears. Despite knowing that the outcome will be remain the same for the time being. Its always a wish that all my beloved friends would find their true love. Its rather hard these days, but there will be good guys out there for catch. Open those eyes wide, and most of all open those hearts of yours. Fear not of showing the true self. Often i tell myself that i should never regret not doing something. That applys to every human being. Act when we have the opportunity, when we are still kicking alive. Do something for our loved ones. Really. So what i have done would be to provide encouragements and keep up with it. We never know when would the 'sudden death' happen on us, so act fast!

feeling livelier than the previous days. i will need to catch up with more sleep, otherwise, i might collapse one fine day.

continue with the FA1 assignment tmr. Once submit it on Mon, i'll have to start my revision for the Ebusiness exam. drained out.....

this entry specially dedicated to my dearest sweetheart.

i was so moved by the entry that you wrote on me. my apology for having u to be worried over me. well..im picking myself up. although, still pretty affected with what has happened. i feel so fortunate that i have someone so dear to me to be so concerned about my life.

from what has happened, i realised how fragile a life can be. that makes me wanna put in ten times more of the effort that i made to counter the r/s between myself and all my loved ones including u sweetheart.

finally done with my last second assignment. one more to go and i'll be taking a break before studying for the first paper that falls on next fri. i missed u so much. will be meeting up with u real soon.

been having bad headaches for the past few days. its already late. i better hit the sack.

Since Sun, the totaled no. of hours that i shut those eyes to rest, equals to the no. of hours that a person would need to rest each day.

Sadness filled my heart since Sun morning. I wish not that this happened, the feeling is painful..cuts deep in. Told myself i shouldn't cry, however, wasn't able to control.

Today, ends the journey of my beloved uncle. It also closed a chapter in my life. Although, its only 23 years that i shared my life with my uncle, he left me with many wonderful memories. I recalled the trip to Lake Toba, those days we lived together at hillside drive, helping out at the canteen with all my cousins and many more..how valuable those memories can be from now on..

The moment that the coffin was pushed into for cremation, the feeling was inexpressable. Body shivered as we cried so hard. We didn't want him to leave us just like that. Its been a long time since i last felt this way.

Since 1995, granny left us..everyone of us led our lives happily and contented. Its cancer that took a life away. Thought that its cruel, yet i believed that God has his plans for uncle. May he find peace and joy in heaven, as he reunites with granny. I'll be missing you...holding you in my memories.

taking a break from work for now...

for the whole week i have been slpin at dawn. been put up with so much pressure, its like im immune to slpin late. thought that it was only like evenin, until i saw the clock then to realised that its already late.

nevertheless, i make it a point to rest my mind. hence.. though how busy i was, still met up with friends to chill out.

dinner + ksession @amk kbox with karin, ps, andy and kb last night. managed to get a discount on the bill cos ps had a fren who works for kbox. had so much fun, even though we freezed like ice in the ktv room. thereafter, had supper at thomson 'the roti prata house'. was down with four, excluding andy. ate my fav. mushroom cheese egg prata.. yummilicious!! we sort of had a heart-to-heart talk, and i see it as a opportunity to understand each other better. well, after all we see less of kb, while usually its karin n ps that i often meet up with.

argh..i hate the feeling that im insomniac. and this will continue till i complete this course. i seriously need to improve on my work efficiency. otherwise, i will see myself with increase eye bags and dark eye rings.. which i would very much hope to get less.

felt rather weird that its a saturday, however, without darling by my side. no doubt he has been ringing me up, short conversations in the day and slightly longer ones at night. still..i missed him. i wanna embrace him to sleep. its becoming critical.
just when i mentioned about darling, his sms just came in. both of our hearts are bonded strnogly together, like he knows when i need him the most. fortunate.

time to move on. otherwise its never ending piece of assignment that will be due on mon.

completed another 1/3 of the group assignment. im trying to convince myself that i ain't tired, and i could continue to work on my FA assignment.

its like 2 assignment due on the same day. NEXT MONDAY. i just wanna get it done fast, so i could take a short break before i bury myself in piles of notes and the textbooks for preparation of exam. i detest the feeling of such that i would have to go through the same shit for many months before graduation in Jan. every single day carrying armours as i prepare for the worst to happen. guess im gonna be burning midnite oil for the next few days until the assignments get submitted.

sorry sweetheart for not being able to meet up with you. well..its gonna be like next week cos i ain't gonna plan for any activities not for the weekends. will be staying home all day long to work on the assignments till my battery goes flat. how i wish i can be more self-centered, unfortunately, its compelling to turn myself into one. being kind at times doesn't benefit from any, in turn, people take advantage and climbs over your head. nevermind..i will bear with it, afterall, eventually i gain more knowledge from working on the assignments. i must aim for better grades for the rest of the terms. obtained the best grade for accounting, though its only a credit. be complacent, i knew that i have done my best.

big hug and lotsa love and appreciation for darling. with all the advices and encouragement that he provided nana with, assist me in staying focus and positive. he's my battery charger, my moral supporter and most of all my most beloved soulmate. baby..i'll do you proud. *promised

shall commence on the input of data and figures to the practice set before the sky turns bright.

i missed my baby so badly...will some kind souls in camp offer nights out, so i could see my baby for just a few hours. and i'll be more than happy.

bless me......

mummy is hogging the bathroom!!!!! dad as well..

that means im gonna be late for class. cos i have yet to shower!!

realised that i've put on 3 kilos!! goodness..i better start doing something abt it before it gets tough to lose it off.

slpt early last nite as i felt unwell. woke up feeling tired but more refreshed than the passed few mornings.

gonna stay back after class to work on the assignment again.
while i had dinner with karin last night, saw one of my group mates. she diden turn up for class, neither has she been concerned about the assignment.
feeling a little disappointed and helpless. but nevertheless..will strive to produced the best work that i can.

for the 3 weeks that baby be not ard...Nana will try to lose weight!!!
i must achieve the targeted weight!!!!

i ain't hearing water splashing, that means mummy is about to be done with shower! like finally.....

reluctant to go school...find it pointless...

Had little sleep the passed weekend..
due to meet ups with poly mates & close fren sonia.

Friday, visited uncle at SGH. Then met up with poly mates to chill out at the 'Shanghai Jazz'. Had to rush from from one to another place, rather tired. However, there was an issue that i was pretty disturbed by. Shan't elaborate. I just hope such incident won't happen again. Nevertheless, i had fun. Had a bit of beer to drink. There were 7 of us including myself, and we played dice. I would say that im pretty safe or even quite outstanding cos i only lost the game a couple of times. Was out till rather late. From the time i touched down home(..3A.M Saturday) till i woke up, only had 4 hrs to slp. Managed to take a nap before before i met up with Sonia to chill out at the one & only pub we frequent.

I brought along barang barangs to the pub. All the stuffs that i had to bring over to darling's place. *laughs. Mind u, its a BIG bag that weighed like 10 kilos or more. Usually the case would be a jug of beer able to last us the whole night. Surprisingly we drank 2 jugs. Its not an achievement. Its our honor to admit that we will be gaining weight, if we continue to drink BEER and more of it each time a visit to the pub!! Well, it wasn't all. We joined Tracy & her fren to Momo. Not beer that we drank but jugs of vodka lime. Wasn't concentrated, however, when one is tired.. gets high very easily. My missy Sonia went off earlier. Talked about her..she should have made it to the destination by now. Have fun baby! I made it home by 5ish. Darling touched down home at 10ish(Sunday). He cooked breakfast, favourite char kway teow. Tasted not as nice as daddy's, despite the fact that it was above average standard. Nana would give it a 8/10 since its darling's effort & he was fully in charged without any help from me. A hearty breakfast. In the late aftern, we went gym to exercise. Shall keep up with the exercise program. I loved to work out with darling.

Not gonna see him for 2 weeks. Hopefully get nights out, otherwise Nana be missing darling like crazy.

Rather late. Shall hit the sack. Workin towards the goal: 'Sleep at 11pm every night'. Its hard but i will keep trying.

The topic for today.."How do we define FAIR this word?"... "How can one be fair?"

Well.. Fair refers to free from injustice, dishonesty, or self-interest. It could also means to act in a just or honest manner, or according to the rules FAIRLY.

How many people in this world could practice the fair play? and.. make sure that everyone is treated justly? The answer is not many. In fact, I would say that the reality is cruel, unkind or even nasty. There are plenty of people that claimed that they are acting according to the rules and standards set. We as humans with physical touch and feelings, as well as a pair of eyes to observe.. sometimes it just clearly shows how contradicting a person can be. At some point, people resort to sacrificing others to attain their goals and objectives. It clearly proved someone's self-centered characteristic.

Here we are talking about human rights. We are talking about grabbing all opportunities in fighting for our own rights. How could there be people out there attempting undertable methods to gain favour of a powerful character in order to win the situation. The fact is... a huge no. of people are practicing it now.

Show some care for the people around you. They may not be blood related to you or maybe even not acquaintance, but everyone has a heart with consciences. Think about others before you jolly well make selfish decisions. People around are often the ones get hit directly for no reason, just bcos you want things to be in this particular way.

I have been fuming since class ended till now. Its like i don't want to be pin-pointing at someone, however, the fact that somethings must have happened for a reason. Whether good or bad, as long as it affects me, my life and my studies. I jolly well just kick ass and start doing something about it, before someone just get out of hand. Im disappointed with 'him'. All about self-interest, bias and favourism. Reason being that i don't act like one existing apple-polisher?! Please...that 'He'...cut those crap about being fair to everyone. 'He' has never been fair since the day 'He' screwed up the arrangements for the grouping. I have nothing more to say about "him" except that please wake up your mind. I can't exactly stop 'Him' from whatever that he wants to or plan to do, but im still able to fill in low grades for the evaluation. Nana not trying to be Evil, but to inject some senses into 'His' head, and that maybe history will not repeat?! *crossed fingers

Whatever the case is... my strategy to fight those b*tches would be.. think of more and superb ideas and reconmmendations. thats for "kill KILE" campaign! Applicable to Jan as well. Both os us working towards our goal to "KILL KILE"!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well..time to head to sch. Was raining buckets out there a while ago, thankfully it has stopped. Otherwise i'll be drenched by the time i touched down at sch.

Be hanging out with the musketeers tonight. Dinner & maybe some extra activities.
I guess all of us would like to do our part as a friend to keep that someone accompanied, since its the lowest period for now. That's all we could do.

I just want 'You' to know. Its never too late to learn your mistake. Maybe that someone can't give you a second chance as yet, however, in the neat future somethings might happen. Its either moving ahead with life or getting back together to put a full stop to the painful thoughts. Devastated Not. Sometimes its good to take a break, enjoy singlehood before stepping into a new r/s. Friends will always be hanging there, be it RAIN or SHINE. Get over this hurdle & u will be fine eventually.

Quote: "Its never too late to say Sorry. Willing to do so will one happy.. Because u learn to accept and...to release yourself from the hidden truth."

Last weekend was great.

Met up with sonia to chill out. As usual, one jug lasted us through the night. Loll.. had a few songs to sing. i guessed we diden have enough time to chat. shall catch up more on the next meet up.

Well..as for sun. Made a trip to JB, spend a short stint over there. Bought a plenty of stuff. I would say a whole bag full, as far as the needs are concerned. both darling & I were satisfied. No major traffic jam. Thankfully.

Went sch this aftern as per normal. Took FA test. Gotta thank the tutor for all the great help!! Much appreciated. Headed for therapy session after class. My spinal problem has yet to improved, n i doubt it will in a short time. The session today left me with fear of the next visit. Very hard to explain what i went through, all i could say is....Terribly painful!! Next appt be following Mon. *Shivers. Its all for my own good. Blame myself for being careless all the time. Clumsy acts that caused pain and aches in the body. *regret. but too late. Can't be reversed. I hope that i'll recover real soon.

Dinner taken @cwp with karin, ps & kb. We had a major discussion on a partcular topic. The more we talked, it gets the adrenalin going. Maybe the few of us should consider taking part in debates. Loll.

Its late. already spoke to darling on the phone. Hopefully he gets to book out on wed night, so we could have more time together. Otherwise he burn the following 2 weekends, i will be feeling terrible for not having spend enough time with him. Shall hit the sack for now. nites.