LOVE oh... LOVE

Once we start to mistrust, we lose our minds.

Those spirits in us ran wild, we cannot find.

Unhappiness, tears, pains and sorrows left on the shelves, they left.

Who is willing to pick that up, to take away those awful memories?

Anyone that can save one’s life, make them happy?

From the point, they never take a step ahead.

Stood in misery, where is the key to the exit?

Love, we know the clue to it can never be crystal-clear.

Love, we know it’s hard but we persevere.

How far can we pass through?

Those tears shed have its meaning behind it.

Look not what is called Sympathy.

Comfort that we see in it, we will never feel better without it.

Believe, believe and still believe.

L stands for ‘Learning’.

O stands for ‘Optimistic’.

V stands for ‘Victory’.

E stands for ‘Everlasting’.

“Learn to be Optimistic, to gain Victory.. and it will be an Everlasting history.”

I saw the MOST beautiful rainbow

It has been a big bang, whatsoever hoo-haa that happened within the surrounding and people. Bolt from the blue.. thereafter, rainbow appeared.

Extremely Relieved. I had triumphed over this barrier. From then onwards, i saw the ray of light.

Many words are often left unspoken. Its strange that we couldn't bring ourselves to face those problems. Nonetheless, one will bound to face it sooner or later. Why not NOW rather than FUTURE?!

I have gotten it off my chest. You have my words, & i have yours. Anyone should never be too anal over any sort of issue. Bear in mind, NEVER ASSUME. Speak your heart. Copy that?!

Fabulous night. Hearty lunch. The sweetest journey. Blessing in disguise that we became conscious. That is where the upturn point begins..

We have faith, TRUST. LOVE. From me to you.

Prince Charming - Mr Ban

A couple of minutes ago, was on the phone with darling. Although, the line has ended for a while.. the sweetness remained. We shared sentiments regarding some issues that happened in camp. In fact, I felt so honoured each time he opened his heart & shared thoughts with me. It made me felt imperative. The mutual trust and understanding for each other, we could talked about the world and not fretted that anyone would spill the beans.

He's the chief who holds the key to my heart. The one who weathered storms with me. The meal that he prepared specially for me on this very special day in 2003. Its been remembered since the day. Despite the fact that i merely see him twice a week, the amount of love and concern he showered on me has not minimized. He called me every night without fail. He would give me the best that he can provide, just to see smiles on my face. I never trust fairytales, while do wish upon finding someone i can rely on a lifetime. Found it. Im blessed with a rare gem.

He made me the richest girl ever.. rich in the heart. My heart is filled with LOVE. Unstoppable.. i cannot stop complimenting my man.

"Darling, this is FOR YOU:

....You are the second to none. Deepest Love. We will hold hands and grow old together."

Customized SKIN!!

*jumping with joy

This is MY SKIN!! See the picture?! Those feet belonged to Darling & I. I completed it within 3 hrs(used another skin's base code). Encountered problems with the codes, however, managed to solve and...

TA DAH~ Presenting my blog skin!! Yippee....

KARIN....Nice??!!! Lol.

That's what F.R.I.E.N.D.s are for

Ended the line with bestie. Laughed throughout while he ranted about what happened on Tracy's bday. He was mad about a guy(Tracy's fren) who offered me beer. Its already a past event, yet he still flared over it. Well, its ALL my fault, i shouldn't have drank. What i never expect would be that Bestie had to be so upset over it. Smiles. Im contented. He is concerned about me, and i know he will be there for me no matter what happen.

Initially, i was troubled and upset. However, after i heard those words he said.. i kinda felt relieved. I must admitted that i was on the verge of crying while we were engaged in a phone conversation. Even if his top priority would be his GF.. those words touched me, i clearly know that i have the BEST FRIEND in him. What more can i ask??!

Its not about the quantity, its the quality of a friendship. I had always treasured every friendship, while some that i have lost touched with.. its still in the HEART. I have always told my beloved friends.. "if you need me, just call on me.. i will always be here for you." A lifetime promise that i made to those whom i truly loved. The expiration date would be forever, even if i leave this world. I will serve my duties in heaven. Promise.

I was once determined and worked very hard to be the "best" friend in some of my friends. But i do believed that everything in life is predestined. Im leaving it into the hands of destiny. I don't want to be hurt as well. Let nature take its course. The love for my friends will never fade away.

I will have extra faith in every of my friends. I don't care if i was blinded by the surface act. That is the right attitude, i have picked this up and will stick to it.

Muackz & Hugs to all my darling friends....

This is how i feel

现在的我不缺什么，认真的生活偶尔会难过。
心疼有很多，他们不够了解我，
问了太多，我只是微笑的带过。
未来的我没有如果，不相信星座能预告什么。
假想那么多，过去会不会复活，
最好没有如果。

No "if" or "maybe".. move on & let the past be wonderful memories.

I cherished every single day that i lived & the rest of the time that i will be kicking alive.

Changes to be made.. for you & me

I have been insomniac for a couple of days. My brain has been extremely hardworking. Im Serious. Can't stop picturing some scenarios in my mind. Ain't depressed. In the process of finding the right answers to questions that i have always wanted to ask.

I have always been paranoid. Im determined to change.

Thinking can be extremely taxing at times. I would think a little bit of about this and that, before i realised the state i was in.. tear drops falling. Imaginations, that i allowed it to caused me ended up in depressed state. Once fell into the traps of depression, dwelled in misery. I resented reality, the fact that it has happened. The shield i put on, however, made sure im as per normal with friends. One day, it seemed like i woke up from a nightmare. I came to realised how silly i was that period of time. Obviously, i had friends who will always be here for me, but i cannot rely on them forever. I knew i had to release myself from pain and sorrow, remove the shield and get on my feet with strength and determination. And I succeeded. Anyone and Everyone CAN DO IT. Its a matter of choice.

Don't swallow the hardship that you went through. Tell someone. Not anyone, but someone you can trust. Don't live in unhappy moments, throw them out of the frame. Regard that you have lost partial of the memories, especially the unhappy ones. Thats when you can move ahead slowly toward walking out of misery.

Don't cry alone beneath the blanket. Cry with someone who will cry with you. Don't keep things to yourself. Find a pair of ears to listen to what you have to say. Never put up a fake front or pretend to be happy. Not just you will be miserable, the people around you will come to realise it one day.. they will be the ones to be as upset as you. Reason being that they loved you, yet they weren't there for you when you needed comfort and concern. Don't wait for someone to rescue you, go forward and seek help from your loved ones. What are F.R.I.E.N.D.S for?! That is the purpose of keeping them. Its not judgement day when you faced a failure, be it in the area of relationships, family or work. "failure is the mother of success".. i totally agree with this statement.

Do something for yourself.

Im no saint. Im a friend. I will be here and everywhere for whomever friend, you know you have me as a friend in YOU.

As for me, im sorting out my mind. I know what answers will i get for the questions in my head. Let me digest the possible answers, and i will be no further from ultimate happiness. ANYONE can be happy.

"CONFESSION"

아름다운 이 사랑 이렇게. 우리의 심혼에 있는 완전한 그림을 파괴하는 것을 품을 수 없다. 그것이라고 시키다 점화하기 위하여. 우리가 폭풍우를 통해서 함께 극복한 대로. 사랑해요, 영원히.

나의 심혼의 바닥에서. 약속.

TRUST in YOU

TRUST...

Many people claimed to trust that someone whole-heartedly. The matter of fact is that some actions may just reflect your mistrust. Take for example, asking questions about an issue that you don't find right.

Everyone has a little secret in them. Lets give our loved ones some space of their own. This will be the best gift to them, as there is no such thing as FREEDOM. We will not be free to do whatsoever we like. NOT UNLESS we bear no responsibilities to anyone, where we don't belong to anyone. That is the only way to have all the freedom we want in the entire world.

Trust is not about telling everything that you do. It comes from the inner. DON'T ASK. If its meant to happen, IT WILL. Leave it to GOD. Its blessing from him to be loved. Appreciate life, the surrounding loved ones and what we receive.

I posted a song lyric in the previous entry, it has its significance toward love. Speaks of the love toward YOU, DARLING!

A song to share...

Artist: Aslyn
Title: Thats When I Love You

when you have to look away
when you don't have much to say
thats when I love you
I love you, just that way

to hear you stumble when you speak
or see you walk, with two left feet
thats when I love you
I love you, endlessly

and when you're mad 'cause you lost the game
forget i'm waiting in the rain
baby I love you
I love you anyway

'cause heres my promise made tonight
you can count on me for life
thats when I love you
when nothing you do can change my mind
the more I learn,
the more I love,
the more my heart can't get enough
thats when I love you
when I love you
no matter what

so when you turn to hide your eyes
'cause the movie made you cry
thats when I love you
I love you a little more each time
and when you can't quite match your clothes
or when you laugh at your own jokes
thats when I love you
I love you, more than you know

and when you forget that we had a date
or that look you give when you show up late
baby I love you
I love you anyway

'cause heres my promise made tonight
you can count on me for life
thats when I love you
when nothing you do can change my mind
the more I learn
the more I love
the more my heart can't get enough
thats when I love you
when I love you no matter what
ooohhh! oooooohh! thats when I love you
when nothing baby
nothing you do can change my mind
the more I learn
the more I love
the more my heart can't get enough
thats when I love you
when I love you
no matter what
ooooooohhhh ooooooooooh
no matter what

Home Sweet Home on a SUNDAY.. how weird..
usually every weekend i'll sleep over at darling's place. He has been at a field camp in tekong since fri, whereas.. Nana tried to keep herself occupied with dinner meet ups & other outings.

I kinda wasted this term break. Recognised that I have not done anything significant for these 2 weeks. The last week that im left with, before i turn to the piles of notes & textbooks. Ought to make full use of it, i know for sure its gonna be a pity after all on hand, there are quite a few tasks to be completed.

Celebrated Tracy's bday on Friday. The pub was jam-packed, with most of the people who were invited to the celebration. I was with PTL, Bestie & Andy throughout. PTL, Andy & I gulped a bottle of Chivas within about 3 hrs. Ever steady PTL had to watched out for Nana & Andy! Chuckles. I have to stress that i wasn't drunk but needed to throw up. However, the other round, ABSOLUTELY.. Andy was almost there. Once i touched down at home, immediately slept. Woke up an hour later.. hangover!! The time was 4.49AM. i couldn't sleep, thus, took a shower. I sweared it was terrible feeling, though i was not drunk. Tossed & turned on the bed till 8am before i dozed off. No doubt that Andy felt worst. I knew what went wrong, but shall keep my mouth sealed. Laughs. My apology to ANDY!!!!! We had too much to drink, not that you don't hold your liquor well.

Brought popo out for dinner last nite, and headed back to her place for mahjong. Im already looking forward to the next mahjong session!!! Smiles. It will be Tuesday!! What do i have to do for tmr & the rest of the week???!!

I missed my darling like hell these few days. We did not get to talk on the phone last nite, hopefully he will call tonite.. even if its for a few mins.

Some picts to share:

- a kid burning with curiosity to see the outside world.



- speaks of the mood when things are just not right.



....to be continued...

Physically exhausted while mentally i want to do lotsa things.

Be heading to office to help out with daddy. Rush.

Ihavesomuchtosaytotalkabout. I'lldoittonight.

IMISSMYDARLINGBABY.

Some updates again.

Lets start with my hair. Previously i dyed my hair champagne RED, however, i had it dyed black days back. Weird. Tryin to adjust back, maybe i have became more used to RED than BLACK. Though, under sunlight or lightings, my hair still reflects bit of red. No black enough.

Mother's day celebration @popo's place. Baby came along, a usual practice started a couple of years back. While he bought gifts for popo & mami, we treated daddy mummy to dinner at no signboard. The famous dish, savory Chilli crab!! Im loving it!! Once in a while will satisfy the taste bud & craving. My baby L-O-V-E-D Crab all his life, im glad he get to eat it before he booked in this aftern. Nana will only see U the following weekend. Sigh.. Sob..

Watched Spiderman III with baby yest. Disappointment. I never expect sucha a storyline, ruined the superhuman nature of Spiderman!!! Boo~
Had lunch with baby before he headed back camp this aftern. Missing him like hell at this moment. May he be granted with nights out!!!! Per......lease.......

Dinner was at Billy Bombers @MS tonight. 6 guys 2 girls. Initially, i was uneasy. Got better as we had more to talk & most importantly.. to LAUGH about. In a few hours time, Karin will be flying off to China. She will stay in a THREE star Hotel, well the part of China that she will be visitin, considered as ULU.. countryside perhaps. LOL. Bon Voyage. Have a safe journey to & fro.

Seein my sweetheart Dudu~ in the evenin tmr. Can't wait to see my sandals.. of course NOT.. can't wait to see my dudu!!! Lol. Its like AT LAST im getting it. Wee!!! I wanna shop for new clothes!!!!!!

Time to hit the sack!!! Dead-beat. Serious. In Lala Land, i will meet baby. Nites. With Love, Hugs & Kisses.

Quote for the Day: "Never assume. Ask if you seek an answer. Assumptions often lead to misunderstanding. Avoid that will cut down on misunderstandings. Be True to yourself & everyone around you..."

As though we haven met for donkey years, met up with bestie at last.

Well, i met both besties in a day, yesterday. dinner with one, chilled out with another. Bestie had 2 of her frens who tagged along, with one of them that left shortly. Had a good talk over r/s issue, while the later part was getting all cranky with snapping picts of each other. that is ugly, misbehaviour picts of one another. cracking jokes on one another, laughters all nite. received a gift, supposedly to be delivered to my hands long time ago. anyway, thanks. im into 'pig blue ears'. Chuckles.

An early greeting: Happy Mother's Day to my Dearest Mummy & all the mothers in world. A special day for celebration, to show our appreciation for all that our mums have done for us. Nothing beats mother love, the kinda love cannot be replaced by any other beings.

Its near to an end of a week, while there are two more weeks to relax, slack & enjoy as much as i like.. before the nightmare begins. Jan found herself a temp job, so that she could earn some pocket money, also for the 'extra fee' that she has to pay to our damn school. im glad she found one.

My PTL awaits a date from her PTL(me). My apology for cancelling tonite's date. I will compensate her time & love, from next week onwards.

Only a few steps away from my goal, i will make it.

Dudu, if U love me, spare me some time of urs. =( I need love, love that's from U. Muackz No more.. unless U make me smile.

Missed my darling baby like hell. My eyes will be on him tmr, till monday! Get well soon, darling. Nana loves U. Muackz

The usual practice, post an entry right after i ended the line with darling.

Its been a long day. Woke up in the early hours, the night ended belatedly. Throw aside the weariness, i very much enjoyed the day throughout. deserved some perks for keeping up with the singing skills, despite the fact that i was breathless a few songs i had buzzed.

As much as i remember, from the very day that i introduced Tracy to Bestie, almost all the time that we dined at Sakae Sushi. Hence, same place we ate for dinner tonight. same people, with an additional someone, none other than Bestie's new GF!! Supposedly my ex-school mate(pri & sec)too, catched up a little bit with each other. Bought myself a Philips SalonStraight Pro XL priced reasonably. I can't without a straightener, as my intention to keep my hair growing be a firm decision as of NOW. No guarantee that Nana will not itchy backsides to slit off this on-growing hair. Darling would fancy long hair(past) than short bob cut(present), partly the reason that i want to keep my hair growing. In fact, im in two minds about it. Grr...

Let this tiny winy brain of Nana to stop working for tonight. Thinking process to be continued tmr...

Quote for the day:
"..Don't read too much into it. Have faith in the relationship.. & the one that you always LOVED. Be sincere to that special one, and yourself. Put in effort, and both parties will be duly rewarded..."

Schedule for the week is full.

Weekends be dedicated to the Mums. As we all know, Mother's day is around the corner. Besides that, my good "sister" Tracy will be celebrating her bday on friday. Well, she told me earlier today that she missed me like crazy, lol. Hence, we will be meetin up tmr aftern for k-session. when was the last time that i sang? i cun recall, indicating that it has passed way long time. time to brush up singing skills.
Thereafter, will have dinner with bestie & gf. excited.

Something funny to share with you guys. Mum bought this gadget called "butterfly massager". While figured out the way it works, she asked me for help. When she handled the massager over, without notifying me the power was on.. grr.. i had an electric shock. lol. It felt like the electric current ran through my body, striked my brain cells & caused me slight headache. Well the laugh was that..my move has caused papa such a big reaction. As i reached out to him(who was lying on the bed), he jumped out of bed & ran towards the door. We struggled a bit before he managed to get out and find his way down the stairs. I sweared i diden know that papa was afraid of this sort of thingy. All these while, i supposed he often used the OTO electric massager. Laughs. Hilarious it can be, as i recalled the panicky expression while papa ran down the stairs. I never realised that my papa was a speedy. However, my apology for making him ran. Hopefully, it has not caused his heart to beat fast.

Awaiting darling's call. Should turn in early as well.

As I felt that im receiving the peace and harmony that I always desired, someone would just barely shatter the hope. Is it that difficult to compromise with people while others do the same? Must it always be the surronding people suffering in silence for whatever actions take?

Im breaking the silence. I would hope to just tell you this: "Get the fark out of my sight, get out of my life!!!" You are worst than a beast!!!!! What a pain in the ass. I have given in as much as i can, however, realised that it has sort of condoned his wrong-doings. Quit taking advantage of my soft-hearted character. Im no push-over. Don't complain that people look at you differently or disregard your existence for the mistakes you made. Be a "MAN" and take responsibility for whatever that you do. "Invisible" mode from now on.

Its the 1st day of my 3 weeks break!!! No date for today, so be staying at home & STONE!! Looking forward to meet up with bestie and new GF whois my fren too. haha. What should i do for the rest of the day???

I anticipated holiday breaks, however, im already feeling bored on the 1st day of break!! Let me check out some temp jobs to keep me occupied.

as im chatting with ps at this point in time, might as well type an entry before it gets late and i would prolly be feeling sleepy then.

ps reminded me that i haven blogged for days. i've been revising hard for exam, and lovey doveying with darling. its been like 2 weekends that i've not spent with him. wanted badly to catch up the time that was lagged. lol. i had a marvellous weekend!!! it was like a 4D3N vacation, though i was caught with a very bad flu. I LOVE U, Darling!!! and those koala hugs, piggy backs, spiral turns etc. My Macho man!!

3 days to FA paper. from there would mark 3 weeks break for Nana! lalala~
be meeting up with Jan to study together tmr. *paused a while to speak to darling on the phone, he reminded me to study hard. i would only listen to those words coming out from his mouth. thus, once done with this entry.. will jolly well get back to revision.

enticipating catch ups with sweetheart, besties!!!! lost touch for way too long, gotta keep those flame burning.

love is in the air...we're breathing the same air!! lets just be happy....