Happiness always look small when we hold it in our hands..

An eventful 2010.

2010-05-23T21:04:00.001+08:00

Starting June will be it. Diet.

The colour is decided. CYAN! I am feeling so excited.
I am sure the girls are feeling the same.

And Ta-day~ I am so glad that i met up with my cousin for lunch. She broke the news to me. My cousin is getting hitched! It shall be on Christmas 2010!

I am ecstatic over the upcoming events.
Sweetie's. Cousin's. Colleague's.

What about mine. I' anticipating.

what will i be?

2010-05-17T22:01:00.000+08:00

My head is aching badly.

It has been aching since yesterday.

It's painful. I can't stop crying cos i can't remember things and it is causing the tremendous pain.

headache. its really headache.

absurdity.

2010-05-02T23:03:00.000+08:00

I have so much that i want to voice out. At the end of the day, i realised it would be a waste of time to bring up the issues which are not an issue to the stakeholders.

In fact, i pin a hope for a miracle to happen. I was hoping that someone could change my mind. I guess miracle will not take plan anytime soon. I can't afford to sit and wait.

I had provided my best effort. No regrets nevertheles I am exhausted.

It is time to make a change.

I beg for mercy.

2010-03-20T17:07:00.000+08:00

please just stand by me.

there may have been times that the connection is breaking.

well, somehow or rather if you believe, then it doesn't matter.

no one is perfect. the probability to it would be one in a million people.

i felt intimidated to reach out to people whom i regard as friends having heard the negative comments.

will someone just stand out and drop the bomb instead of speaking at the back of their mind?!

i am not dense enough to realise the importance of life. the kinship which is one of the priorities. and second to it would be the camaraderie.

i am barely there. i don't want this to be an end.

keep me on a happy note.

Get alive.

2010-02-28T15:50:00.000+08:00

I really need to get alive.

It is almost a month since i last updated my blog.

I have been pretty inactive in social life.

I had finally made it for the medical appt which was long overdue. My condition is pretty much under control. I would prefer not to be under medication for long term as it is harmful to the body system in one way or another.

My doctor advised me not to be stressed over work. Well, the temperature is raising and probably attributed to the mood swing and hot temper. laughs. Lotsa excuses. I should jolly well take control of the situation and not allow the environment to stir up the emotion and anger.

Time for afternoon nap. Chill~~

Have a break.

2010-01-29T18:09:00.002+08:00

I took my first leave of the year!

Mixed feeling. I woke up at 8.30 in the morning. At the back of my mind, i was worried about work. Instead of getting out of bed to wash up and eat breakfast, i lazed on bed and watched the taiwan drama serial which i downloaded last night.

I have been following this drama serial, and somehow or rather i learnt something. For whatever treatment that you receive from someone, whether it cause you pain and unhappiness, always keep in mind that you should remain who you are. Thou shall not allow anyone to change his/her personality and nature. Don't ask for return. Play your role to give happiness to anyone and everyone. A simple act of yours may mean a lot to the receiving party. A smile will brighten up someone's day.

Since the newbies joined the bank, i have complaint about their laziness and unwillingness to learn. I reacted differently from the similar past experiences. I used to wallow in anguish or simply swallow the hardship and grievances. However, for this case, i 'mistreated' them. I adopted the harsh approach. Upon receiving the news that one of the newbie had tendered his resignation, and he will serve the notice period ending next week. I felt guilty. I should have been more patient and understanding. I learnt a lesson. Going forward, i will not allow the same to happen again.

Anyway, i took an off day from work to stay home and pack my room. My brother and his friends will be heading over tomorrow to assist with the paint work. Thankful. My baby will join us as well.

For half a day, i managed to move out 50% of the furnitures in my room. I sneezed throughout the cleaning process, hence i confirmed that i am 100% allergic to dust. lol.

It's time to take a shower and head out to meet K for IKEA shopping! I'm also cracking my brain to come out with a gift idea for S&S solemnization on Sunday. Rather last min, nevertheless better late than never.

Nana is in excitement over the renovation for her room!

Maybe its about time to move on...

2010-01-18T21:25:00.001+08:00

I had left the blog untouched for more than half a month.

Its certainly the time to update.

Well, i had a great opening for the year 2010. The short getaway on cruise with my baby was wonderful.

The month of January is rather tough going. I had a couple of tasks to accomplish before i can cut some slack and keep it cool for the CNY.

I'm absolutely loving it.. the good relationship between my boyfriend and I. We're making the effort to bring this relationship to the next level. Yeap, we are in the plans to tie the knot and set up a family. Its something that i look forward to.

Besides all that, i'm also looking out for opportunities. When its time to move on, i think i should go with the flow. Certain subjects and people do hold me back, nevertheless time will decides.

I really need to settle with the outstanding work issues, get alive and meet up with my fellow mates and friends for some kickass activities.

Well, for now... let me just pin myself on the papers and assure that i produce quality work.

Welcome 2010.

2010-01-01T10:50:00.000+08:00

First of all, Happy New Year!

I have been unwell for the last 2 weeks of 2009. The greatest impact was on the last 2 days. I was hit with high fever on the 30th night. I must thank my greatest mom for looking after me throughout the night. She came over to my room periodically to check my temperature, and brought me honey water to drink.

I headed to work as usual despite slightly feverish with body ached all over.

When i reached home yesterday, i was welcomed with early dinner prepared by my parents. Whenever i'm ill, they will be here to take care of my needs.

Sore throat. Vomited after dinner. Slight fever. Popped panadol tablets again. It haunted me till i fell asleep around 9ish.

And the next thing i know, i woke up at 2am feeling refreshed. My prayer was answered. I prayed that i don't have to start the new year with bad health. I don't want to be weak like i was in 2009.

Starting today, i will quit the bad habits and lead a healthy lifestyle.

Thank you mommy & papa for the showers of care and love.

Nana will be better this year.

It will be a fantastic year for everyone! :)

Remindful.

2009-12-29T00:46:00.000+08:00

Time flies. The end of year draws closer. In no time, we begin a new chapter of each of our lives.

Those happenings.. the wonderful memories be it good or bad... these are the precious and timeless moments in 2009.

I don't want to lose any parts of these memories.

Photos are the significance of every occasions and time spent together with the loved ones. I have stopped developing photos for donkey years, and its never too late to start from now.

I have shed tears, shared laughters, taste happiness and joy, weathered the storms.. here i am, still standing strong.

My deepest gratitude to everyone who have been supportive and never failed to make me a better person.

Life has been rather tough. I have even thought of giving up.

Things changed. I have revamped the whole mindset. I want to live life to the fullest. I want to share my joy and happiness with everyone around me.

I look forward to year 2010. I want to be one of the happiest soul on earth.

This year has been a fruitful journey. Thank God for guiding me through and holding on to me without letting me fall hard.

I strongly believe the following year will have plentiful of sparkles and delights.

Happy New Year in advance. I will spend the new year countdown with my love on the cruise.

My dear friends.. enjoy the last few days of the year before we move on to a a new year with more challenges and surprises.

Most importantly, be remindful of the past memories. It represents us. Be thankful to anyone and everyone who have been part of your life.

God bless.

Happy Holiday!

2009-12-25T18:15:00.000+08:00

Hohoho...Merry Christmas!

I'm currently situated in KL. My first stop over was at Malacca. I slept over for one night yesterday.

I will be heading to the night market in a bit. Mom & Dad taking power nap.

Been feeling so drowsy. And my cough hasn't fully recovered. Lots of phelgm.

Anyway, thank you guys for the sms wishes. I'm sorry i'm unable to return the wishes via sms. Well, i shall do it via internet.

Hopefully it was a great night yesterday.

Till then i'm back in SG.. folks.... enjoy the long weekend! ;)

Red alert.

2009-12-19T00:24:00.001+08:00

I have reached home a while. Had a gathering at one of my Team Manager's house for Pre Xmas BBQ.

I wanted to head home for a short nap before i pop over. However, i ended up heading straight to his place and left like almost midnight.

Been sick for the longest time. After tonight, i bet i'm gonna wake up voiceless tomorrow.

Gotta hit the sack soon cos i have to wake up before noon to pop over to Em's place to meet up with her new pet & Chris of course. Miss her so much.

No more late nights. Taking its toll on my health. I don't wanna fall sick anytime before new year.

goodnight.

Gloomy.

2009-12-17T21:14:00.000+08:00

This week has been peaceful to a certain extend. Or maybe not.

I don't feel peaceful at heart though.

It has been rather quiet in the office. Most colleagues are on leave.
In other words, i have to cover more duties.

Fell sick since Tue. I headed home right after work for the couple of days.

For instance, i had a date to KTV. I rejected and headed home as i know if i were to burn the night, i will be ill and weak over the weekend.

I looked crap for the week at work. The comments that i received are such as 'you never sleep ah?', 'you look damn tired!', 'you look pale and weak', 'are you ok?'.

Seriously, i think i really need to have a good good rest.

Time for bed. Get well soon.

The irreplaceable void

2009-12-13T23:27:00.000+08:00

A story to share..

4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid. 'cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.

There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.

With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all i heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheet and blanket!

Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation:

"Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroo! m to coo k the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you 'cos I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad..."

At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries. After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.

A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.

However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....

Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the ! kinderga rten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me proud too!

Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the christmas spirit is in every passer-by...Christmas carols and frantic shoppers....but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, ' I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.

His answer, amidst his sobbing, was : The letters were for Mummy.

My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him: " But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was: " I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..."

After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say.....

I told my son, " Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behal! f, I bro ught the letters outside, but couldnt help opening the letter before they turn to ash.

And one of the letters broke my heart....

Dear Mummy,

I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldnt help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason. Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room. I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why havent you appear?

After reading the letter, I cant stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....

For the females with children:

Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be some kind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole problem. Feedback to your boss. Endless overtime may not necessary be the answer to the problem. Take care of your health so that you can treasure and take care of your little precious.

For the married men:

Drink less, smok! e less, cos nothing can replace your good health, not even business nor clients.

Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are totally dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In this society, no one is indispensable.

Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little precious and your loved ones.

For those singles out there:

Beauty lies in loving yourself first.

With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other things around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't let your health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing matters more than your well being.

From this story, i realised my doors are closed all these while. I should learn to appreciate myself more. I think i need to start loving myself for who i am.

It's all in the mind.

2009-12-13T23:16:00.000+08:00

I will continue to battle against the hardship and negativity.

Because, i want to live to grow old, to set up a family, to have my own kids, to enjoy life to the fullest.

To feel alone when lonely or to feel alone and empty..

2009-12-12T13:29:00.000+08:00

which is better?

I would choose the first as i don't want to feel empty in my heart.

Sometimes i feel like i'm on the battlefield, all alone fighting with the strangers, the enemies.

Who is there to protect me?

Eventually, my parents will leave me. Will i be alright without them?

Toward friends, i can be generous. While i'm selfish toward my family. I would choose to leave before them because i don't want to be left behind. I don't want to feel like an orphan.

The emotion sinks in again. I have been waking up in the middle of the night. I can't explain but its affecting the daily life. How can i break away from this?

I'm really scared..... I'm really really scared. I cannot contain this set of emotion in me for a longer time, i feel like i'm losing myself.

Emotional

2009-12-06T23:10:00.004+08:00

The SDP Charity Show 2009 has ended. Singaporeans have donated a significant amount of 3.07million to help the needy people.

All Singaporeans, thumbs up to this act of generosity and kindness.

I was touched by the little Korean girl who performed the Beethoven piece with merely 2 months to practice. Despite being abandoned by her biological parents, in addition, she is visually impaired. Her foster parents adopted her and cultivated her into such a fine and talented kid. Respect to all the parents who adopted their kids and provided them the best (at least in their kid's eyes), these parents are great and magnanimous.

I am personally grateful toward my parents. Thank you papa & mommy. Love.

My sympathy toward these physically handicapped people is flooding.

When i was young, and living in the terrace house (old home), i always wanted to take in the elderly folks who are homeless. I always felt that my room is big and it allows me to take in a couple of the elderly people to stay with me. Then as i'm growing up, i was ambitious to build an old folks home. Till then i was sensible, i realised it's really tough to attain my ambition. Hence, i dropped the ideas, and decided to donate and help within my ability.

I guess i'm doing so little. The people who donated and participated in this charity show have contributed way more than i do.

Nana, i think i should do better. :)

Anyhow, i have had a great weekend. It seemed so short, nevertheless i enjoyed every second with my loved ones.

Gotta hit the sack early otherwise i will oversleep in turn cab to work. Time to save up for ..... *giggles... shhh...

Hope its been a great week for everyone. Sweet dreams tonight.

i wish....

2009-12-06T03:05:00.000+08:00

i can sleep well like my boyfriend. He's sleeping next to me and snoring away. laughs.

I have not shopped in Orchard on a Sat for the longest time. And yeap, i did it today!

The MJ session ended like 3am, i was totally exhausted. Well, i won some money. My beauty sleep was not wasted. Haha.

Woke up around noon, and i did grocery shopping spree at fairprice. Although i shouldn't encourage my dad to binge on snacks and convenient food for his tea breaks, i bought lots of those for his reserve.

Thereafter, i headed to orchard with my brother and his friend, Darren for shopping. Bro bought a pair of levis jean, a/x belt, zara shirt, jp semi-casual top and a pair of aldo shoes, whereas i only bought loose powder.

Well, i'm thinking about the plans for tomorrow. Seriously, i'm brain dead. It's time to hit the sack. Goodnight boys and girls.

ding dong bell

2009-12-04T01:24:00.001+08:00

My alarm will ring in about 5 hours time. Sleepy head.

I have been working late for the past few days.

Mon - knocked off like 7ish
Tue - knocked off 10
Wed - knocked off close to 10

And this morning, my superior announced to the team. No OT. Everyone has to leave by 6pm. I didn't adhere to the instruction, but i left before 7pm. ;)

It isn't true that i detest my work, i love my job somehow. I would prefer to clear the outstanding before i knock off everyday. The thought of clearing the work leftover from the day before simply turns me off. It will just pile up and work is never ending.

I packed lunch on Mon, and had lunch at 4pm on Tue. Finally decided i should lunch out, and i did it for both Wed & today.

Aston for lunch today with the RMs. These guys make feel like i'm an alien.

If nothing crops up, i shall lunch out tomorrow too.

I enjoyed the KTV session tonight, with T.A.E. And free ride home.

Anyway, its time for me to hit the sack. I have a long day tomorrow. I will be playing MJ with one of my colleague, one ex-colleague, and their friend. New players. I must win! :)

Happy note.

2009-11-30T23:50:00.000+08:00

A sad note to begin with.

Ended my long vacation leave. Back to work today. Boo~

On a happier note, I had a wonderful weekend.

Remember your promise, my promise, our promises. <3

我的真心

2009-11-27T18:07:00.000+08:00

感触很深。。

忽然之间，我感觉这世界好陌生。我到底属于哪一个角落。

我的外表是冷静的，但我的内心是在颤抖着。我好需要一个依靠。

我要的不只是个情人，我也期盼着一个能够让我的心是温暖的，是温馨的。

多么希望能一辈子当我父母亲的小孩，那天真无邪，那长不大的小女孩。

我好想念离开了的亲人，你们在天国过得开心吗? 是否会有难过的日子?

能不能让时间停留在那些美好的时光?

我要我的回忆里都是好的。。

Insomnia.

2009-11-26T16:13:00.000+08:00

I started taking sleeping pills.. AGAIN!

This is not supposed to be the case. Imma on leave and i should be sleeping well every night.

Soon.. yes very soon.. i might be admitted into the sleeping disorder unit at SGH. I should seek help from the professionals.

Finally..

2009-11-25T04:55:00.000+08:00

I stepped out of the house to breathe in some fresh air.

It felt different between in and out of home.

These days, i would choose to stay home when i am unhappy or troubled. I don't know how to express my feelings and thoughts, and i'm really afraid to speak my mind.

I used to be chirpy and outgoing. Its not the same now. It's becoming pretentious. I have loads of thoughts running through my mind, sometimes i can't breathe.

My perfect piece of picture that i kept all these while is never the same one. There are stains and marks on it which i don't want other people to see it. I want everyone to have the indent impression of this piece of beautiful picture, and remember the goodness of it. Hence, i hid it somewhere whereby no one can see, no one can find.

Today, i received an sms that reads: 'Remember if you need a friend, anytime anywhere i can be there for you. I am just a ring away.'
This sms meant a lot to me.

I am contented. I am blessed with many genuine and good friends who really love me for who and what i am. They never attempt to change me. They are the ones who stood by me, listen to me, hold my heart, and guide me along the good and bad times.

Thank you guys. You know who you are. I love all of you. Thank you.

可不可以愛我

2009-11-23T19:01:00.002+08:00

寂寞

2009-11-23T18:58:00.002+08:00

The impression.

2009-11-23T16:53:00.004+08:00

My trip to Taipei & Hongkong was a fruitful one.

I stayed in a hotel that i thought it felt like a second home. The hotel attendants are really warm and friendly souls. The drivers are really chatty.

Generally, the Taiwanese are very nice people. They are well-mannered and helpful.

The weather was chilly. I have always detest cold weather and i sweared that i won't travel to countries during winter. Although it wasn't winter and it ain't snowing there, but the temperature was unbearable. I wanted to be home badly, but i'm missing Taipei now.
I don't know.. maybe it's the people, the environment, or even the weather.

The one thing that impressed me was..

the citizens actually queued to dump their garbage. This will never happen in Singapore.

Well, the last night in Taipei. My boyfriend and I did a good deed. While we were walking to the MRT, we saw this troubled lady. She was seeking help from a security officer to view the CCTV to see if her daughter was caught on the video camera. After paused for a few minutes, we decided to proceed on. She shouted out to us to help to keep a lookout for her daughter. We acknowledged and continued walking. I thought we should walked a faster pace in case we missed the little girl. From a far distance, i saw this little girl crossing the road. Although she was walking near to this couple pushing a baby pram, it seemed like she ain't related to them. I urged my boyfriend to race across the road as the green man was already blinking.
I was right. She was the little girl that the lady was anxiously looking out for.
I was absolutely elated that we found her. She almost crossed another road without looking out for cars. Thank god. We walked her back to her mom, and saw the two hugged each other in tears. What a touching scene. Parents should really watch out for their kids at all times.

Mee Sua. Hotspring. Shopping. XiMenTing. Beitou. Shih Lin Night Market. Raohe Night Market. Tong Hua Street & Night Market. XXL Chicken. Sausages... i missed.

What about Hongkong. I think it was too short time to know the people better.

I merely stayed in Hongkong for 2 nights. I was at Disneyland for almost one full day. And of course, i visited other places such as Mongkok, Central, Causeway Bay, Wan Chai.

In Singapore, besides night life the shopping malls would be closed by 10pm. Whereas in Hongkong, shopping malls are still quite busy when it was closed to midnight.
The streets are packed with people and it felt different.

I guess i have grabbed every opportunity to experience life in foreign countries.
My boyfriend and I took MRT and walked a lot from places to places.

I fell in love walking in the streets. Taiwan, i will be back next year.

lines of crack

2009-11-22T18:12:00.002+08:00

I cannot describe the kind of pain and damage caused by the humiliation that came from a loved one.

From a lack of self confidence and self esteem, i'm becoming invisible.

I don't know who can help, but i know i have to save myself from dwelling deeper into misery.

Can't remember since when i started to give up on myself.

I kept fighting. I kept nursing this broken thing. But each time the soft spot in me gives way, i began to doubt my ability.

What am i good for? I really don't know.

It really hurts.

God. Do you still love me? Will you help to overcome this difficulty.

I don't want to give up.

Mark the first day of my compliance leave

2009-11-12T11:22:00.002+08:00

I slept at 4ish in the morning and woke up 5 hours later.

Well, i sorta expected this to happen. It will probably take me a couple of days to adapt to this change. The change in daily routine. For the next two weeks or so, i will have to pretend that i'm a homemaker.

Sometimes, when you have already been used to the sleeping trend and lifestyle, the sudden change will cause you to feel a bit lost.

I have no plans as of what i should do for the next few days before i fly off on a short trip to Taipei/Hongkong.

The level of noise outside my unit is causing me a headache.

Dad told me that the construction work stopped for quite sometime. I guess i'm really lucky to experience the powerful noise pollution on the first day of my compliance leave.

To be frank, i'm starting to miss my office. I'm thinking about work..thinking about the unresolved issues.

Something is really wrong with me....

irregular sleeping hours.

2009-10-26T00:59:00.003+08:00

I managed to shut my eyes and fell back to sleep from 5ish to 8ish.

Supposedly to head down to Aroozoo to watch the match, Man U vs Liverpool.

Damn. The chillout place has closed down. Our nearest option was forfeited.

I didn't watch. QR updated me on the score, 2-0. Man U lost. And she was really disappointed. That silly girl.

She has headed to her friend's place to watch the current match.

I don't have the football channel to watch Arsenal vs West Ham!!!!!!!!! Darned.

Thought i could chill-ax. Watch the match and drink a little. Drinking aids for sleeping disorder.

I seriously need to find the remedy to stop insomnia.

Well, for now.. i'm gonna lie down on bed and cultivate the momentum to sleep.

QR should update me on the match. gogogo..

Hibernate.

2009-10-25T01:47:00.002+08:00

Saturday wasted. I attended the FX deriatives course which started 9AM, and ended 5ish. Chim-a-logy. The course instructor taught us in a way as though everyone has a basic foundation on FX. In fact, most of the people were quite clueless.

Despite the exhaustion, i merely dozed off once and was caught on camera.

Anyway, i passed this session. Failed the quiz, nevertheless was presented with a certificate. Laughs.

My colleagues and I headed to Parkway for some shopping, then steamboat at Roxy Square and finally ended off with a heavenly foot & back massage. I dozed off halfway through the massage. We were done with it half past midnight. Flagged cab and stomped back home hoping to continue the sleep marathon. Mission failed.

I'm still surfing net now. Well, no worries. I took sleeping pillsssss..

I don't want to wake up tomorrow.

Let me hibernate for one full day. I'm really deprive of sleep.

The aftermath of 3 sleeping pills..

2009-10-24T00:45:00.002+08:00

My colleague handed me some sleeping pills to aid me in getting better sleep.

I guess i was too eager to fall asleep early, i took 3 last night. Somehow or rather, my body reacted slower. I managed to sleep for about an hour from midnight to 1ish. I stayed awake thereafter till 3ish, and knocked out. Finally when i woke up it was already half past seven. Nice. I rushed a bit and cab to work, and i made it on time.

Upon the arrival at office, i felt somewhat dizzy. Hence, i laid my head on my desk and shut my eyes for a while until my boss came over. She tabbed my shoulder and asked if i was feeling unwell. More than half of the population in my office are awared that i can't sleep well. It's not a new thing anyway, with the heavy eye bags and the darkest eye rings. I applied medicated oil freshen up and started off the day.

Time flies, i made it to lunch time without dozing off. However, shortly after lunch, i started feeling dizzy again. I dozed off a couple of times while i stared at my monitor.

As i had to meet the girlies for dinner and movie. I decided to knock off punctually and head home for a power nap. Cab pool with two colleagues, and i reached home rather late to catch a nap. As i was waiting for my gf, Dawn to pick me up, i dozed off while i watched the television programme. I text to inform her that i needed a power nap, and she immediately responded to it. She called to order me not to sleep. Thus, i headed out to take a stroll around the blocks.

Foreseen that i would dozed off in the cinema. Well, i really did. I merely watched like 15 mins of the entire show. I totally know nuts about the storyline. Anyhow, Dawn, Jac and myself watched the '500 days with summer'. When i woke up, i heard the girls complained about the movie. It isn't bad to sleep. Laughs.

As i type this entry, my eye lids getting heavier. I should hit the sack now.

There is a course tomorrow. It will starts at 9AM!!! For god sake, it's a SATURDAY! I really wish i can skip this session. It's gonna be a dry topic on FX. How nice it can be.

I think the sleeping pills are taking effect now. I shall meet the folks in lala. Nite.

Bad roller coaster ride.

2009-10-18T17:27:00.002+08:00

A terrible night caused me to be lethargic since i woke up this morning.

My tears cannot wash away the damage caused.

Deep within it still hurts.

It took a while for the trust to build up, but it was kinda destroyed in one night.

I have chose to believe, i shall make the second attempt to put behind the past.

I will be faithful to the trust between us.

PLEASE.. do this hand in hand with me.

I'm not strong at all. I need more support than you can imagine. I'm still a little girl in the heart.

Like i said..you always have a chance to seek for other opportunities. Just be frank with me. I will understand........

a missing piece

2009-10-14T23:39:00.002+08:00

sometimes people just say something without thinking about how the other party would feel.

the impact on the receiving party can be huge enough to keep her staying up the whole night.

communication breakdown. thinking differs. is it really to such great extend that such remarks have to be made.

i'm having a bad headache, cramp and my heart is wrenched. i've had enough of medication and i don't want to take painkillers.

i don't want to talk about anything. i just want to sleep...

Rounds of Quarter Century Celebration (Cont.)

2009-10-12T04:02:00.007+08:00

Part 4 - with my Love counting down to the mark of Quarter Century

Little princess Jody sang me a bday song when it almost strike 12. So sweet. :)

Part 5 - dinner with God parents and God brother plus my Mom & Dad

We settled dinner at Mouth Restaurant, thereafter for some shopping.

And i rushed home for Part 6 to cut the cake before it strikes 12. Laughs.

The cake bought by Bro & Mimie.

In fact, it's not over. I still have to meet Ame & guys for dinner at Emily Hill tonight. Coming Wed to meet up with Dan Bestie, Thur with Ching and following week to meet up with Jan etc.

Time to hit the sack again.

Rounds of Quarter Century Celebration

2009-10-12T03:35:00.008+08:00

First of all.. i would like to thank everyone.. for those who celebrated my bday with me.. for those who wished me through phone text, facebook and phone calls.
I had received many presents too. Thanks ALL!

This year's bday has been exceptionally special.

Part 1 - with Musk5 on 3rd October

Part 2 - with S4 & Tracy Dear on 8th October

Part 3 - A surprise celebration @ Em's place on 9th Oct

Well, a big 'Thank You' to Em and Maverick for being sucha good host. Maverick was the photographer while Em did all the BBQ. I enjoyed myself very much!

One Quarter Century Celebration

2009-10-05T00:52:00.002+08:00

I had a whole lot of fun for half a day.

Met up with Musk5 yesterday afternoon.

Our first stop was Thomson. Prata treat. Yummilicious Egg prata with Cheeeesseee.. to go with Teh O Korsong. Superb.

Next up. We headed to Dempsey, Ben & Jerry. They bought me a cake. Well, its like the older i get, the more i'm resist to celebrate. I would rather to meet up like as usual. Have dinner, chill and just hang out. Laughs.

Anyway, i made wishes and cut the cake. Then, we headed for Happy Hour. I could barely finished the Apple Mojito cos the mint leaves tasted awful. We chilled for an hour ot two while waited for buddy to join us with his girlfriend.

Following was more food tasting.

My first try of the fermented tofu, and it tasted uber awful. I was choked a few times over the pungent smell. Thank goodness i got to eat other food to divert my attention from the fermented tofu.

Thereafter, we made our way to Geylang for DURIAN!! Golly!

Finally, we ended with KTV session at Teo Heng KTV, Katong. The cost of 2 hrs session cum drinks was dirt cheap. Apart from the non user-friendly karaoke system, i had fun snapping pictures.

Reached home like almost 4am. I hit the sack before 5ish.

It was more than 12 hrs bumping around Singapore.

I wanna do it again... FUN!!

Things happened in the last half month.

2009-10-03T10:12:00.003+08:00

It's really odd. Time flies. It's already the beginning of October.

For this period of time that i didn't blog, i have been working hard.

Not much of changes in my daily acivities.

After work, either home sweet home or head out for some relaxing programs.

Talk about this, headed for foot massage with Yo & Chris last night. We had dinner first at Cuppage. Supposedly to bring Yo to try the Authentic Japanese cuisine, however it was fully booked. Hence, we popped over to another restaurant within the same building. Not as fantastic.

I reached home before midnight. Hit the sack early, thus i woke up like 9ish today. I haven't slept for more than 8 hrs for the longest time. Feeling rather refresh.

It would be great to take a power nap before the guys pick me up for our car spin around Singapore.

Musk5 arranged for a car for the 5 of us to run around Singapore. It is a bday celebration for Nana. Something different for me this year.

Although its an advance celebration. I'm looking forward. :)

Indescribable.

2009-09-12T16:21:00.002+08:00

Caught a movie after work. As usual, with the girls.

We watched 'The Time Traveller's Wife'. Thumbs up for the movie. And i heard that the book is even better.

I'm gonna borrow the book from QR to read.

Haven been sleeping well for the past week. I would wake up periodically in the middle of the night. Its like at the back of my mind, i had something to attend to hence i woke up many times to check out my clock. The times whereby i reached office rather early, my superior would check me out. Her first comment would be "you never sleep huh?'. Seemed like most people know that i have sleeping disorder.

Nevertheless, i try to keep a clear state of mind. Keeping myself stress-free, i managed to sleep for more than 8 hours from 4am till 3pm today. I'm kinda like feeling sleepy again. Maybe i should nap for an hour or two before i head out for dinner.

'Goodnight'.

Words can't describe.

2009-08-29T15:04:00.002+08:00

I guess this particular week has been the toughest time of my life.

There were many a times i couldn't withstand the grievance. I busted.

All i could do was.. to walk away from the problem. The existence of certain characters made my life somewhat miserable. I couldn't fathom the fact that i have to go through this sorta 'torment' not for the sake of myself, but somehow or rather for other people whom it may concern.

I would question myself all the time. Why am i out on one's feet for things which shouldn't be of my concern. I can simply not bother. Well, i failed.

I would put up the widest smile possible despite being upset deep inside. I'm not putting on a mask, i just don't want to affect others. How nice it is if everyone could think likewise.

CM popped by my office after lunch yesterday and we chatted for a while. Her advices made me brainstormed thereafter. Maybe i should heed to her advices and get my plans rolling out. Anyway, thanks babe.

Caught a movie with Yo, Chris, JY & Aaron after work.

'The Final Destination 4'

Apart from the sound effect which was alright, the storyline was a flop! I didn't fall asleep though i was already sleepy before we hit the cinema.

Anyway, this movie is about premonition. It reminded me of something similar which happened many years back. Although it wasn't related to death, having to know something before it really happen.. the thought of it just freaks one out.

In a while, i will be heading out. It's been like donkey years since i last met my sec sch mates, Jing & Dar. I happened to bump into both of them like weeks ago. Hence, the meet up today. We have got lots to catch up. We will be singing karaoke at Liang court. Thereafter, i will have to join Ame and guys at Fort Canning. I'm considering to head home after karaoke session then i can work on my trade notes. Contemplating...

If i'm gonna come home to continue on my work, that will disappoint CM. She instructed me not to waste my weekends over work. I'm in two minds about this now..

Let me take a power nap. Wake up and decide.

Have a wonderful weekend.

The unknown answer.

2009-08-18T22:34:00.003+08:00

I won't ask. I won't speak a word about it.

I don't want to disappoint myself again.

I don't want to dig into it.

I don't look forward to anything.

Just let the days pass.

Can i not talk for the rest of the week. I need peace and silence in my world.

The late night activities.

2009-08-16T06:07:00.005+08:00

It was another long night.

Time: 6.13am

I reached home like 5ish. Washed up and lolling on bed right now.

Val reached my place at 10ish while we waited for Jack and Ame to arrive.

Val and I were cheated by this malay couple. We buy their story that goes like that..
They claimed that they left behind their bag in the clinic and the clinic was closed, hence didn't had cash to take a cab home. They approached Val for help and requested for some money otherwise to send them home. Val was obviously not comfortable to send them back, thus i offered them ten bucks. While waiting for Jack and Ame, we popped by the clinic to check if it was really closed. Kinda expected that they lied. I was rather disappointed to realise the fact that the clinic was still operating.

To be frank, i'm kinda racist. This act of behaviour has resulted in further lost of faith in this particular race.

Finally, they arrived. We took just one car and made our way to liang seah street for dessert. Thereafter, we went to yishun safra as we intended to sing karaoke. To our dismay, by the time we reached the time left to sing was merely 2 hours. It isn't worth it to sing for 2 hours while we pay for the package. Hence, we board the car and headed to lim chu kang cemetry to explore. I'm glad nothing happened. We left the place and drove into kranji farm resort. Both Ame and myself were in hunger, so we decided to head somewhere for supper. We ended up at Bukit timah, and all ate the same food - bee hoon goreng. Jack started snapping photos. I joined in the fun. lol.

Supposedly after dinner wannted to head somewhere else, but Jack was tired. We drove him back to my place to pick up his ride and headed to AMK. Found one spacious car park, Val got both of us to hands on and drove the car one after the other. We even did parallel parking. My leg was in jitters when i did the parallel parking. lol.

Shall sleep all i should...

Freaked out!!!!

2009-08-15T11:45:00.003+08:00

..yeah..aftermath of a thriller.

Knocked off rather earlier than any other days, Em Yo & I headed to Taka without Chris, who joined us after she was done with work. Supposedly just the four girls, and then we had Jy, one of our temp staff to join us for dinner. By the way, she's my secondary sch mate. Her bf also joined us for dinner. Due to peak hour, we had to sit separate tables. Until we had a bigger table, then we combined and sat altogether.

Dinner was at Pasta Cafe and obviously we all had pasta. Then we ordered 3 different ice-cream to share. Cookie Crumble...i like! Yummmy.

Em was quite turned off when i took out the 'spot the difference' book and had both yo and her to do it together. Well, after all she gave in and got kinda engrossed with it. lol.

We chatted for quite a while before Em's dude called. Both of them already planned to catch the movie 'Orphan'. I had no idea why it ended up all of us watched the same movie. I'm a scaredy cat. I don't watch horror movies and thrillers. I was jittering when i entered the threater.

Like seriously..there are quite a number of movies to watch besides this one. Halfway through the movie, i already felt like i was suffocating. I wished i dozed off, vice versa.. i was wide awake resulted from the many times i got shocked.

This movie is violent!!!!!!!!!

The freakingly freaky creepy look and that pair of evilish eyes.. oh gosh.. it's floating in my mind. Darned. I'm so gonna hate Em for the next few weeks for forcing me to watch the movie. Furthermore, i embarassed myself by screaming out loud a couple of times. Laughs.

When i reached home. I was thankful that bro & mimie were still awake. I washed up and get settled in my room. Had the table lamp turned on. I log on to msn and chatted with Chris. She was probably googling on the disorder 'hypopituitarism'. I remembered i was quite awake, in fact i dozed off shortly. I woke up at maybe 5am and realised that my table lamp and PC were still power on. I turned off the table lamp and fell aslp.

I definitely didn't slp well. Slpt at about 3, and woke up like 10. I should be sleeping more than 8 hours during weekends. I'm gonna take an afternoon nap. Heh.

Discharged!

2009-08-12T21:22:00.002+08:00

And Yes! I'm officially discharged! I do not have to go to KKH for further appointments. I was certainly elated to receive the news.

I headed home after the medical appointment. It is the earliest time to reach home over the past weeks.

No one was home upon my return. I changed into my home attire, took a cup of warm water and some biscuits, and parked in front of the tv. I realised that i haven't watched the news off many months. Hence, i decided to tune to the news channel. And i got rather emotional.

The Morakot Typhoon in Taiwan....took many lives. One rescue plane crashed into a cliff in the midst of the rescue. Sometimes i wonder why did God created natural disasters. I couldn't stop crying though none of the casualties were related to me. I felt for their family members. I wish i can contribute some help, perhaps being there physically and providing comfort to the affected villagers.

Bro came home shortly. I dried my tears at the fastest and came back into my room and tuned in to channel 5 while facebooking.

Singapore Idol was hilarious. Following by Criss Angel, the mindfreak. I was stunned over his move having to stand on the roller coaster track with 24 people on the ride then passed through his body. Well, it wasn't exactly passed through his body. The moment that the roller coaster hit the spot, he was already seated on the first seat on the ride. It was amazing. And kinda freaky.

I'm absolutely enjoying every moment getting cosy in my room. Home sweet home indeeed.

Received sms from Jack to inform me that we have a date tomorrow. It's always so impromptu. Can be a kinda surprise at times, NOT all the time.

Sleepy head. Time for bed in half an hour.

Let's do it again.

2009-08-10T14:34:00.002+08:00

Ame.Nana.Valen.Jack.

We fully utilised this one day.

Mani, Pedi for Val. Coffee Bean Alfredo for Ame and Nana.

Hopped on the ride.

First stop - Lorong Buang Kok. The one and only Kampong left. Took many pictures. I hope Val will upload the picts soon. We've got interesting and hilarious videos too.

Next up - Jack's Ah gong house @Railway Mall. We drove from Yio Chu Kang to Bukit Timah. That was quite a distance. lol. Stayed there for a while.

Headed for dinner @Old Town.

Moved on to Labrador Park. Did a bit of walking, dropped the idea of entering the greens. We made our way to changi village. We drove around to sight seeing those deserted buildings including changi hospital. Two of them wanted to explore the hospital, whereas the other two (Ame & I) were disagreeable. Hence, we made a U-turn and decided to have supper. Thereafter, we hopped on the car and Jack just drove aimlessly. Then he thought of another place to go.. which is our last stop - Emily Hill. Unfortunately, it was closed. They took a walk in the nature reserve while Ame and I roamed about the 'Hang Out' at Mt Emily. Toilet break. And i was the first to alight. Woots.

Thank god we had a good ride.. the comfy 7series. Otherwise, it's gonna be tough to last a day in the cutesy boxster! lol.

I have in mind places to go to... Lock Road.. and Jack suggested Mandai Lake. Let's do it again!! Gogogo..

Where's the limit?

2009-08-08T00:39:00.003+08:00

The clock is ticking away.. it's close to 1am.

I'm absolutely exhausted.

It has been a mad rush.. a crazy week. Since i was informed that grandma was hospitalised on Sun, i merely visited her once. It wasn't due to knocking off very late. The official visiting hours are from 10am to 9pm, and the hospital is located in Simei. I will not be able to make it having to leave the office like 8ish.

I took all my stuff back so that i can read them up this weekend. It's like i'm battling against time. I jolly well learn whatever i should or have to, and start popping questions if i'm in doubt. This is the only way to save me from myself and the sudden attacks.

Frankly speaking, i need a break. I have been mulling over the unforeseen circumstances. It seemed like a rough time to get by. I broke down a couple of times at work, and i'm worried i will freak out one day. Many a times, i accumulate the amount of anger, frustration and unhappiness then let out the steam at one point whereby i know i have to in order to move on.

My apologises to those whom i haven't been promptly responding to be it the missed calls or texts. Trust me, i have been sleeping early. Well, it wasn't planned though. I basically just dozed off when i touched down in homenest. In cases like chatting with my parents, i would also dozed off on their bed for one or two hours before they nudged me and got me back to my room to continue my beauty sleep.

I'm looking forward to my compliance leave.

I haven't been playing MJ. I haven't been singing KTV. I haven't been shopping. I haven't been doing what i used to do.

Cut me some slack, please!!!!!

Packed..

2009-08-02T19:57:00.003+08:00

I have been meeting up with folks like everyday after work.

Mon - with Jan. We haven't seen each other for like months. And whenever we meet, it'll be a whole session of bitching. laughs. We will keep ourselves busy talking than snapping photos. After dinner, we parted ways and i proceeded to meet up with my dearest mamasans. I missed my cutesy mamasan so badly. Chilled out at Breko. As usual, our cranky bitching session about everything. I'm glad we met up and updated each other of the latest happenings. I'm anticipating the next session.

Tue - with CK. We had dinner. Got lots to catch up. Supposedly to have a MJ session today, however his friend couldn't make it. Well, i'm still looking forward to our first exciting MJ game. I must win your money, dude!!! laughs.

Wed - with Eric. It's like our first official dinner together. I gotta knew him when i repeated my Java module back in Poly. It was pretty embarassed to join my juniors, nevertheless, he helped me during that tough period. I hated Java. And i'm thankful that i made it with a passed. Anyway, we headed to Paulaner for a drink or two before home sweet home. Well, we are gonna meet up for dinner soon cos i lost a bet to him. Darned.

Thur - with PS. The other 3 musks couldn't make it, hence just the both of us had dinner together. I was glad to meet him on a one-to-one basis, hence i gotta know some darkest secrets. lol.

Fri - company event. location wise cannot be disclosed. cos i'm ashamed to even spell out the name of the hotel. Well, it was an unforgettable night. I wished i had left earlier. Seriously. But it's not too bad either to see the human nature. The ugly side i meant. I swear i wouldnt wanna attend any of the events going forward.

Yesterday - belated bday lunch with Ling & Jun. And we caught a movie 'Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince'. I dozed off halfway through and woke up in a shock. I was pretty shaken by the ugly faces. lol. Did a bot of shopping and we parted ways. Then, i headed to Ame's place. On my way over, while on the bus i had this French guy who offered to hold my paper bag for me. I was holding this big paper bag while reading my book and listening to Mp3 player. I rejected his offer and continued to read my book. He tapped my shoulder and striked a conversation with me. Well, you see.. i was heading to Geylang and it wasnt quite a nice place to be at. Everyone in the bus were like looking and whispering to one another when the both of us talked. I felt kinda weird though. Nevertheless, i bet everyone knows that French guys are mostly very friendly. We even alighted at the same stop. Thank god he didnt mistook me as one of those.. Haha. R&R at Ame's place until Jack and Val came over. We hopped on the cars and headed to Tanjong Rhu for dinner. From there, we begin our adventure. Daniel took his bike and he wasn't familiar with the north and west side. Hence, we had to keep a lookout for him while he followed the cars. We mad eour way to Aroozoo Ave to buy blood worms first. Then drove a long way to Lim Chu Kang for prawning. It was a long journey.. seriously. Damn ulu place. We ended the session ard 3ish. I immediately knocked out when i got home.

And this morning when i woke up, mom informed me that grandma is hospitaised. i wanted to go. showered and changed then realised that my parents and bro left without me. they prolly thot i went back to bed. well, i will visit grandma after work tmr. Hopefully grandma is doing fine. I'm like home alone. My dad, bro and mimie went to AMK hub without me. :( Shouldnt have took a nap then i wouldnt be missed out. lol.

About half an hour more.. i'll be sitting infront of the TV watching my favourite show. Heh. I hope i will be discipline enough to start skipping while catching the show. Save this time to chat up with Andy and LZ. I'm finally back in action on MSN messenger.

2009-07-26T19:41:00.000+08:00

Jennifer Paige : Broken Things

You can have my heart but it isn't new
It's been used and broken and only comes in blue
It's been down a long road and it got dirty on the way
If I give it to you will you make it clean wash the pain away

CHORUS
You can have my heart
If you don't mind broken things
You can have my heart
If you don't mind these tears
I heard that you make all things new
So I give these pieces all to you
If you want it, you can have my heart

So beyond repair, nothing I could do
I tried to fix it myself but it was only worse when i got through
But then you walked right into my darkness and you speak words so sweet
You hold me like a child til my frozen tears fall at your feet

CHORUS
You can have my heart
If you don't mind broken things
You can have my heart
If you don't mind these tears
I heard that you make all things new
So I give these pieces all to you
If you want it, you can have my heart

All over again.

2009-07-15T01:27:00.002+08:00

It's a cycle.

It's like half a month i'll be sleepless. Then the other half i'll be sleeping like there's no tomorrow.

Recap on my activities for the last weekend. Except for the MJ session on Fri which ended about 7ish on the Sat morning. Headed home.. slpt till 2pm.

Headed no where. Dvd marathon. From 3pm to 2am, i was seated on my bed chasing the episodes of the HK drama. Dozed off. Woke up 2ish to switch off the dvd player and tv, and went back to lala.

Woke up about 9ish morning. Continue the dvd marathon, and managed to finish it by 5ish late afternoon. Well done.

Supposedly to meet up with Luv and Yo for K session. Then it was cancelled. I didn't wanna go out and come home late. Mom and Dad were upset over the consecutive late nights for the previous week.

Time: 1.40am

I should be asleep by now. Well, i ain't tired yet.

Had planned to meet up young boy for dinner, but i thot i should just head home and rest early. Instead, i met up with Ame. It was her first day of work. A brand new work environment, fresh faces, unfamiliar superior.. so i thot i should meet her to spur her on. Obviously her first day wasn't impressive. It's the first day.. so let's give everyone the benefit of doubt. Need about a week or two to warm up.

It's Wednesday! 2 more days to weekend. I need another lazy weekend. I am really exhausted.

Time flies...

2009-07-05T21:10:00.003+08:00

We're gonna start a new week tomorrow.

I haven't had enough rest over the weekend.

The PJ party at the Glauzzhaus was excellent. The girls were in their PJ except Yo and myself. Lol. They wanted us to put on the robe having to be naked inside. Obviously we didn't abide. Took lotsa pictures. We played indian poker, texas holdem poker and.. the later part was hilarious. We came up with stupid games like hanging on the bar, the person who clocks the shortest timing had to drink. Thereafter was.. pilates... totally nuts.. i felt fainty and knocked out at 1ish.. and they were kind enough to wake me up at 2ish. Packed and headed off to take a cab, and came the giddiness. I made it home though.

And today. Met up with Ame. We did hair extension, and i'm looking like... erm... cotton candy as described by Ame. I'm so uncomfortable. But i ain't gonna waste the money, thus i'm gonna keep it for like a few months before i remove.

Feeling a bit sleepy... maybe i should hit the sack early today. Goodnite.

Full house.

2009-07-04T00:11:00.002+08:00

Came home about half an hour ago. I smelled of liquor, and Mom & Dad obviously knew that i drank. Mom was unhappy about it, whereas Dad was like laughing over my pinkish red face. They are strongly against me drinking. I know they meant well, mainly due to my poor health. However.......

I require bit of alcohol to knock me out at the end of day, although i ain't a good drinker. I don't know if it's psychological, it simply keeps me asleep for more than 8 hrs. I can't sleep comfortably for the longest time ever, thus this is the only way out for me to catch more beauty sleep.

First thing first, had dinner with my temp staff. We did a fair bit of walking from city hall to somerset. It's a form of exercise, and i like it. Thereafter, headed to Bishan Park to meet Ame and Steven. I haven't seen Steven for almost a decade. It's really nice to see him. While we were on the car, told him a bit about my thoughts. I felt relieved after letting out the steam.

Anyway, this weekend is gonna be lotsa fun.

Luv booked a glauzzhaus at the Gallery Hotel. The theme for the night will be PJ party. I ain't gonna wear PJ out just like that. For the fun of it, i'm gonna bring either a sexy lingerie or a cutesy PJ to change. lol. Just 6 girls and bottles of hard liquor. I'm looking forward to tomorrow evening. :)

Then, i'll be having another MJ session at Yo's place on Sunday. The last time we played was like yesterday night. I'm addicted somehow. Can't wait...

Sleepy head. Totally battery flat. I'm gonna get settled down and head to lala soon.

Wonder what's the plan for tomorrow noon?? Any surprise for Nana??

2009-06-30T22:39:00.002+08:00

My Saturday and Sunday.

3pm tp 4pm. Cried. Physical pain. Mental torture.

10pm to 5am. Waited.

Cried.

6am to 10am. Woke up. Breakfast.

........

9pm to 12am. Drank.

I refreshed myself on the past weekend. Still not over it. I can feel the pain deep in.

Sometimes it isn't that i don't have faith and trust. It's tough to keep believing when mistakes occur repeatedly.

I made this choice. I had to stick to it though. Please don't disappoint me.

Life is fragile. They might be gone tomorrow. Treasure them!

For the longest time..

2009-06-21T22:27:00.003+08:00

Haven't done this for a long time..

Whenever i'm unhappy, i will head out for a long walk. No specific starting point nore any ending point.

I did it today. I walked home from AMK mrt stn. I wanted to use this time to sort out my mind, but i ended up listening to my mp3 player. I repeatedly listened to one song, and dared not think of anything.. just kept walking..

It seemed like my world is falling apart. I can no longer pretend to be happy in front of everyone. I thought by doing so, i will feel happy while making everyone happy. All the mahjong, late nights were supposed to keep me occupied and think what not. At the end of the day, i still feel empty.

I feel like i don't belong to this world.

The negative thoughts.. freaking me out. It's like i'm subconsciously planning my death. I have finally found the right sound to play at my wake. I know which picture to use. I know how i want my wake to be decorated. It shouldn't be this way. But i can't seem to control my mind.

Many people have been asking about me. Even my temp staff notice the change. I've been unhappy. Emotional. Unstable..but i'm also trying to think positive. Really.

I can't help stay silent and not speak a word about how i'm feeling right now. Its not that i don't trust anyone. I don't know how to put it into words. People might think that i'm mentally unsound.

I need a lot more time to get over this. I'm sure its just a phase to pass. Please bear with me. I'm sorry.

Crazy Hours

2009-06-16T00:02:00.003+08:00

It has been sucha long while since the last time i headed home early like everyone at home were still awake.

Headed for dinner with Chris & Hudson. Japanese food. The Senju made me drowsy. I dozed off in the car.. like for the Nth times.

Been staying up late for the past weeks. MJ.. and more MJ. Luv jio for MJ today, but i decided not to.. cos i will prolly oversleep again like i did today. And i had to rush to work by cab. It's freaking high cost to take cab to work like i have been doing so all these while. I spent hundreds on cab every month. This is insane.

Well..i'm gonna be heading out again tomorrow night. No idea where to.

So i better be sleeping soon though i'm still quite wide awake.

By the way, HAPPY BDAY CHRIS!!!! :)

Coming up.. Mommy's bday on Wed! And sweetheart's bday too!!!

I have so much going on to keep me alive... woots~~

Time for bed.. goodnight...

Addicted....

2009-05-24T13:44:00.002+08:00

to MAHJONG!!!!!!

I planned to stay home this weekend.

But... i ended up shopping with Luv.

While we were having dinner at Breko(again!!), i suggested mahjong. I was so enthu that i immediately rang up peeps.

The game started 11ish anf ended like 4ish.. then we crapped for another hr. I knocked out shortly after i got home. I realised i was holding on to my cell phone, and a msg was not sent out.

I was kinda distracted during the game. Received msgs that affected my spirit. Rather disappointed. I don't wanna play mind games. Just let the matter rest.

I need to rest now..

Justice

2009-05-21T21:28:00.003+08:00

I don't know if it's doing us good, but somehow i'm taking it as a privilege.

In order to avoid double standard between the our team and the corporate team, my manager suggested that as of yesterday our team have to knock off either on time or latest 630. As a matter of fact, it's pretty hard to comply with. Well, i care less since it was announced to the team. I left before 7 yesterday and even earlier like before 6 today.

Put work aside. I met up with Zen for dinner last night. While i waited for him, i went to the library to read up some magazines. The last time i stepped into a library was like 1 years back. It feels good and reminded me of the good old days with the girlies. Received a gift from Zen. I appreciate the gift and the thought of getting me something during his hongkong trip.

Erm.. looks like i really can't put aside work. I'm starting to think about the outstanding issues. Though i'm on half day tomorrow, it doesn't make me feel less stressful. Well, it's just in me. The good thing is.. i didn't take the pills at all. However, i'm feeling the acute pain in my abdominal area. It's either one or another.

Gonna head for the U/S scan for my kidney. Hence, i'm on half day pm tmr. I will be heading back to City Hall. Looking forward to join my colleagues at Balaclava for drinking. Time to release myself. Whether i get drunk, faint or worst.. i'm gonna just loosen up.

Jaded.

2009-05-18T22:56:00.002+08:00

You will not..and never be able stay by my side when i need a shoulder to cry on.

I don't wanna cry in my room.. on my own. I don't wanna contain the tears and pretend to be strong.

I don't wan just the companionship of my bolster, pillow when i had to cry it out.

I don't wanna be unhappy.

I just wanna be happy. I wan a simple life. I wanna have someone to share not just my happiness but my sorrow as well.

Popping pills will never solve the problems. i know.

I had in mind of the last resort. I don't wanna be left with no choice and to move to the step.

Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle.. please watch over me. If i had to leave, please come and take me with you.

Rach's wedding

2009-05-17T16:22:00.002+08:00

I felt so happy to be part of the wedding. To see through this whole event. Most importantly, i know Rachel has found the right man who will take good care of her.

It's really sweet. It is absolutely taxing to plan and pass through the chain of activities till the very moment happens. But it's all worth it.

Met up with some juniors at the wedding dinner. It's great to know that everyone of them are doing fine be it work or studies.

I have been thinking how do i want my wedding to be like.

Anyway, met up with Yo and Claudia after the dinner. Luv and her bear joined us for a while before they left for their 'hot date'. lol.

The usual plan.. either drink or play pool. Yo and I headed to pool fusion to play pool. Ended ard 3ish and we made our way to Mac for supper!! Fries fries.. can't do without it. I'mma big time potato fanatic!!

I feel darn fat!! been eating so much. Weigh a little heavier, which shouldn't be happening. Hence, diet starts from tmr onwards.

Not heading anywhere today. Be a good girl. Stay home and rest.

Off day..

2009-05-14T23:50:00.002+08:00

Took a day off today.

Met Luv for shopping in town. Satisfied with the items bought.

Had dinner. then continue to shop till Mun joined us, and we headed to Breko for drinks.

Recently, i'm kinda addicted to drink beer before heading home. It helps to sleep better.. seriously!

Anyway, i wish i had a mahjong session tmr. However not. Colleague, Emily jio-ed for BBQ at Bukit Timah. No idea where and who are the people going. I just agreed upon asking. lol.

Talk about mahjong. I had my virgin game with my colleagues Jeremy, Roderick and Yo. We played till like 3ish. By the time i reached home was like 4, and finally when i lied on the bed.. was already 4ish. I only slept like 1 hr odd, and was late for work due to heavy traffic jam.

Luv and Mun jio mahjong for this coming sunday. And i already have a booking on the following week. Looks like it's a new hobby for me. Heh.

I guess i'm slowly taking off the troubles and worries off my mind.

Guys and girls, i'm coping well. Thank you for the concern showered. I'm blessed with such lovely friends/colleagues.

I'll be the bubbly Nana in no time. :)

Time to hit the sack. Working tomorrow.. sian-ed. Nono..i should look forward.. sleepy head.. sweet dreams..

Anti-depress/stress

2009-05-03T21:50:00.002+08:00

Roller coaster ride has just ended. Well, apparently it is. However, it ain't reflecting on my mood.

There are many thoughts running on my mind.

I tried to do things which would spur my spirit, not working though.

I guess after a long period of putting up a brave front, wear and tear that is.

I told myself i won't rely on the anti-depressant pills. On the other hand, i also faced insomnia. I have to stay up till wee hrs and dozed off when i'm ultimately exhausted.

Jaded. I need to acquire ample rest. I'm contemplating to take the flu medicine in order to put myself to sleep. It's not right. I shouldn't.. or should i.. just for this last time?!

I resent making a choice.

I should just toss a coin, and let it decide for me.

Sun-less-day

2009-04-26T17:19:00.002+08:00

Dad was hospitalised since last wed. Had an operation on thur nite. It's all good now. However, he has to be observed for another one week. I ain't worried no more like i was upon knowing that dad was rushed to the hospital.

My parents are the greatest gift of all. I can't afford to lose them at any point in life.

My boyfriend finally appeared after a long time. He visited my dad at the hospital. We didn't really go into much details of what we were supposed to talk about. I hope there wouldn't be any more dissapointment.

IT happened. I hope it doesn't affect the friendship. I cannot reciprocate the feelings. What i can provide is the friendship and companionship.

I hope we can still be good friends.

Brought the notes back so that i can start preparing for the training materials. I can barely start cos i'm feeling lerthagic most of the time..even now. gosh.. when can i get started.

Stress about everything.. i need to take a short break.

Overdosed.

2009-04-21T23:12:00.002+08:00

24 hours a day is not sufficient.

I can't seem to sleep a decent number of hours.

Work is piling up. To be frank, there are many times when i felt suffocated. I can't breathe, and i want to reach out to the pack of destress pills. I know i shouldn't rely on it cos its likely that i depend on it as and when i feel out of control.

I hate to be sandwiched. I hate to be stucked between two people. And i have no solutions to solve this situation. I cannot work things out.

I was bursting this afternoon. Then i counted to ten, told myself i can't cry. Swallowed my tears and drugged myself with work work work..

I would like to apology to my dear friends whom i have neglected for the past weeks.

Please pardon me. I will catch up with you guys soon.

My eye lids feeling heavy. I'm gonna knock out real soon.

Been taking bus to work. I usually take train. And i'm enjoying the bus rides.

So i'm gonna continue to take bus instead of train. :)

Enough said. Time for bed..

Sweet dreams guys and girls. Love. Hugs.

Random

2009-04-18T15:52:00.002+08:00

Well..this is gonna be a random entry. I don't even know what to name for the title.

Since i came back from BKK, i have been really held up at work. Needless to say.. with a couple of visits to the hospitals.

Back on Sun. On leave on Mon. And MC for Tue and Wed. So it's like kinda short week at work.

Once i'm back.. i had to put on the armour and get all so ready for the battles ahead. I am stressed and tensed up at work. I don't know if psychologically i'm being controlled. I would get the pain whenever i'm worked up.

I'm currently relying on the medications on a daily basis to curb the pain. It has been many days since i started on the course of medication. I really hope i can get better.

Well..as for the diagnosis. Doc claimed that my pelvis, gall bladder, liver, intestines and stomach were at their best form. He suspected kidney problem, like prolly stone. I will need to do some scan before the final confirmation. Meanwhile, i'm still positive. I guess by remaining positive, it will assist in a speedy recovery.

Yesterday - Kevin came to pick me up after work. We headed to Vivo for dinner + movie. Right.. i'm really backdated. Fast & furious 4.. not as fantastic. In fact, it was quite a flop. Thereafter, we drove to east coast Breeze Bar to chill. Ame, Valen, Daniel & Jackson joined us shortly after we reached. We hanged out till like 3ish. I was freaking exhausted then. Dozed off on the car. Nevertheless, i had a wonderful night. So much joy and laughters to share.

I didn't sleep well. Prolly slept like 5 hours. I had plans for tonight already. But i'm gonna like push it back slightly later so i could get ample rest before i head out. Cos i foresee another late night. Heh.

Tracy dear is prolly waiting for my reply.. gotta get back to work.. exercise my fingers.. lol..

Have a great week ahead guys.. :)

I'm back from Bangkok.

2009-04-13T14:40:00.002+08:00

Before i begin on the details of my bkk trip, i would like to assure those who knew where i went last night. I'm doing fine though still feeling exhausted.

Guys and girls.. don't worry too much. I'm fine.

I'm on leave today, therefore i have all the time to rest before i get back to office tomorrow.

I bet everyone know about the situation in Pattaya. We watched the news on tv in the hotel almost everyday. There wasn't so much of a chaotic situation in bangkok as compared to pattaya.

I enjoyed myself a lot despite the fact that my body wasn't doing too good.

Just when eveything was going so smooth.. shit things happened. We were supposed to be home on saturday night. We missed the flight. Had to rush to every counter to check if there were flights back on the following day.

When we heard that the budget airlines were fully booked.. it wasn't a piece of good news. Hence, we checked out Thai & SQ. Val needed to be back in SG at the earliest time possible. She took the 8am flight, while Ame, Daniel & I took the SQ flight in the evening.

We battled with time.. had our tickets and hotel booked. By the time we reached our hotel, it was like 4ish.

Throughout the trip, i didn't had sufficient rest all nights. I was always the one to wake up at the earliest time like SG time 6ish, 7ish. Having that i slept like 3ish or even later. Totally nuts.

I bought a lot of stuff. My luggage is still in Yo's car. While Val had my stuff sent over to my place last night, even before i was home. Prolly have to go over to Yo's place to collect it tonight.

Seriously.. The ending part sucks. I swear this would be the first and the last time i would miss a flight.

Feeling exhausted.. i need to get more rest.

I will be heading back to TTSH on wed afternoon to collect my result. Then i will keep you guys and girls updated. Hopefully it is all good. :)

waiting..

2009-03-31T23:32:00.002+08:00

I'm seated at the nearby park while writing this entry.

Met up with Luv. Had a rather late dinner. Thereafter felt like puking, I'm still suppressing the mental thot. I know I've to overcome this. Decided to come out as I can't sleep with a filled stomach. Furthermore, I already had a serious indigestion problem.

Well, somehow I know I can't slp well tonight. Partly that I Slpt quite a lot last nite. And most importantly, I'm tryin to anticipate what the doctor has to say Tmr. I would be lying if I say that I'm not worried. I just try to laugh it off...just my thumb is trembling for no reason. Its prolly a sign of bad omen.

No idea how long would I be staying out tonight. I hope it won't be too long....

I pray for positive result...

Thank you.

2009-03-29T11:40:00.004+08:00

My darling friends, I'm deeply sorry that I made you guys worried. I chose to cut off contact from everyone as I need some breathing space. I need to storm through what has happened lately.

Dan bestie, Ame, Luv, Sweetheart, Tracy dear, Sweetie, Buddy, Mamasans, Yoyo and everyone others who care.. Please don't worry.. I'll be safe & sound.

Thank you for the bear.. I love it..

Cuts deeply.

2009-03-27T00:00:00.003+08:00

My world is like falling apart. Really it is..

Trust. How much do i understand about this word? What is the meaning of such a meaningful word?

Trust is as though our belief in things that we feel, see and hear. It's the touch in our hearts. We observe with our eyes, we feel with our heart and we hear with a clear mind. It is one-sided. Only with mutual trust prolly things will be on the positive side.

How easy it is to hide the truth.. yet it seemed to be the toughest to speak the truth.

I always believed in fairy tale. I thought i could be like Cinderella. I'm finally convinced that life just ain't that smooth sailing.

I have been going through the most awful period by far. I had never been in such mixed feeling. It's like my mind thinks this way, one way or another.. my heart tells me to do otherwise.

Life is fragile. I'm beginning to lose faith in everything.

I'm still adjusting myself. I had to prepare myself for the medical report which will be released on the following Wed. I can't believe what the doctor had to say when we met yesterday.

I wanted to look up for a window and jump off the building. It was merely a thought.

I'm praying in my heart. I hope the greatest fear in me will not happen in real life. I'm not prepared for anything yet.

I'm cutting out from all the crap.

I need to numb myself. Work. Drink. Late nights.

Well, you never seek to understand. You never knew how much i lost for the past weeks. My faith.. my principle.. my loving nature.. it shouldn't be this way.

Perhaps i shouldn't put up a strong front. I ain't no wonderwoman.

I hate being myself.

I asked for mercy. Leave me.. pain, sorrow, worries...

Friend "Happiness".. please come back to me. I miss you.

Back-dated

2009-03-26T23:52:00.001+08:00

Date: 15th March 2009

I had a lot going through my mind. Losing weight is never easy for anyone, yet it seems possible and hassle-free for me at this period of time. I had sucha pain going through the days at work. If it hadn't been for someone's sake.. if i hadn't gotta click with my closest colleague.. i wonder where i will land now. I would have quit the job for good. I'm no longer the 'Nana' i used to be.. impulsive act, insensible... i have grew stronger, much brave as compared to what i was before i graduated from uni.

How odd it is.. i transformed into a new soul in a few months time. I'm better at handling stress, though i cried a couple of times due to the high level of stress. I'm still learning to handle the pressure at work. I'm compelled to multi-task, in one way or another, it's advantageous to me.. i find myself indispensable to many people, i feel useful.. i feel happy to serve people.

I may not be happy with what i own in life, i may not be fully contended of the current flow.. nevertheless, i cherish every bit of it.

Recently, i have been experiencing the similar symptoms i had back then when i was ultra weak. I have been vomiting since weeks ago. It came naturally especially when my mind is filled with work issues.

This has to end soon.. otherwise, i know where exactly i will end up in.

i wanna be free from all the pain and discomfort...

2009-02-15T15:50:00.003+08:00

This blog has been left unattended for such a long time. It's about time to put up some updates. :)

First and foremost, Happy Valentine's Day to Everyone. The first V.Day i spent alone at home. And i meant.. alone without my family members. They went to the zoo without me as they attempted to wake me up from my afternoon nap but failed. It was pretty saddening though.

Anyhow, I have been rather tied up with my life since the new year started. I had a bit going on during CNY. Took a short break and went on a trip to Malacca & Genting with Baby, his family members and his guests from China. We took the ferris wheel in Malacca that took my breath away. I couldn't even recall the last time i sat on one. And i concluded that i wouldn't dare to take the Singapore Flyer since the one in Malacca wasn't as high. I'm sucha scaredy cat now.

I guess 2009 is a good year for me. I'm getting what i want.. worklife balance!! The situation at work was never been better. I have been quite carefree at work, almost everyday i get to knock off on the dot or rather earlier than before.

Furthermore, the relationship between my colleagues and I are closer. I went for like 2 CNY gatherings at the respective colleagues' houses. It was supposedly 3 places to visit, however, both clashed and we could barely make it for the second one being held on the same day.

One piece of good news to share..

I have passed the 6months probation period. Thank goodness!!

There will be a bit of changes moving forward..

I foresee myself being stronger even if i encounter any setbacks.

Wishing peace and love to everyone.. :)

Beer. Red. Sleepy.

2009-01-06T22:42:00.002+08:00

I'm on a battle from tomorrow onwards. The thought of handling the reviews which i detest seriously turns me off.

Popped over to Durty Nelly's Irish Pub for a drink with Yoyo & Christina. We had a rough day and badly needed to relax our mind. After i down a few mouths of beer, i turned red. Both of them finished their pint of beer whereas i managed to clear about a quarter of it. I was embarassed when i board the train. I bet the other passengers were stunned to see someone looked as though she was drunk when it was barely 8ish. lol. I wasn't drunk though.

Anyway, we got a bit cranky. We made a new year resolution... a synchronised one. We girls gonna work towards it. lol.

I'm so sleepy. Time to hit the sack.

It's not too late to wish everyone a Happy New Year!

2009-01-05T22:26:00.004+08:00

I have been really held up at work and could barely find time to post an entry.

My new year eve was spent at home doing spring cleaning. lol.

For the past month, it was all about work & home affairs. Thank goodness that mommy could take leave to stay home and watch over papa. Besides it, i bought new furniture. My room is currently under revamp. Talking bt this, Yoyo came over to pick me up on Sat. She was like suaning me for taking sucha long time to clear the mess in my room. lol. Well seriously, i was taking my own sweet time for the most of the time when i hid in the room feigning to be hardworking. lol.

The peak period is over. I can relax a bit at work, but i sensed it and i see it coming soon... high volume of work. Gosh. More zits on my forehead. Darned.

Anyway, before i end off...

I have some words for my beloved(s)....

To Mom & Papa: Please stay healthy and happy always.

To Darling: My love for you will grow stronger and stronger as we grow old together. I Love You. Muacks.

To Ame: My beloved bf, have a blissful r/s with dom. I love you babe.

To Dan: My bestie, best wishes to your career & cheers to our long lasting friendship. Thank you for always being there in good or bad times.

To Musk5: You guys have been really great. So fun-loving and supportive. I love you guys.
(Specially for my buddy buddy, thank you for your support throughout the year. You're definitely one of those that i can count on always.)

To Mamasans: Just 3 words, I heart you girls always.

To Tracy: my dear, stay positive. I really hope you can find happiness in life. My beloved friend, ktv khaki.. my big sister always. Muacks.

To S3: Have a great year ahead. Enjoy life to the fullest. Hugs.

To Yoyo: You're sucha sweetie!! Thank you for the showers of care and concern. I feel so protected in and out of office. :) Muacks!!!!!

And to everyone else.. too many to bring up... Thank you for being part of my life. Blessings to all of you. May 2009 be a good year for everyone of us. ;)

Time to hit the sack... sweet dreams...

Blessed.

2008-12-14T23:41:00.002+08:00

Dad is out of ICU & currently in High Dependency Unit. Relieved.

He can eat a bit of porridge, which is good enough for his current condition.

And i can go back to work not having to worry about his unstable condition.

Thank god.

Time for bed.....

2008-12-09T23:26:00.044+08:00

blogging from my mobile.

It's been rather taxing to travel to and fro the hospital. Was supposedly on a long leave to enjoy myself to the fullest.

Went on a short trip to Bintan with my colleague, Yoyo, and her relatives and friends. And on the last day, I received a text from my bro saying that my dad was admitted to hospital. My heart sank. We had planned for a short trip to Malacca. However, was cancelled.

Anyway, dad has to go for the artery bypass surgery sometime next week if there is no further delay. I have been visiting him everyday since. Started work today. So it's gonna be double exhaustive to work and travel. I wish that my dad will have a successful surgery & a speedy recovery thereafter.

My body has been aching for days. I can't sleep well. I'm gonna be drained out in time to come.

Well, short & sweet. Shall hit the sack now. Nite.

Tiring weekend...

2008-11-23T21:48:00.003+08:00

The belated bday celebration for the buddy & ps was a simple dinner at Seah Street Deli @Raffles Hotel. Thereafter, we headed to Canele to cut the cake. Canele's cake tasted superb!! I love it!!!! Anyway, the last stop was at Xin Wang Cafe @Yishun. I was already kinda sleepy when we touched down at the cafe. And i managed to tahan all the way till like 1ish. Heh.

Since i already passed the golden time to catch my beauty sleep, i decided to watch a few episodes of the taiwan drama before i hit the sack. I ended up sleeping at 3ish. Oops...

Woke up abt 11ish in the morning. I continued to watch a few epsiodes of the taiwan drama before i made my way to bishan to meet Ame & Dom for prawning. I had to say this... the weather sucks big time!!! At first, it was drizzling. When we finally decided to start the prawning session, it rained cats & dogs. Poor giko & ginger were drenched while we had to shift the stuff to the shelter, leaving them on the seats looking so lost. lol. Thank goodness, the rain didn't last for too long. Initially, we wanted to finish up the food & come back another day to prawn. We had a change of mind, and unknowingly prawn till like 8ish.

Giko was damn whining... couldn't stop making sound and fidgeting. I had to like pat him a thousand times to comfort him. Should have fed him well before leaving the house. lol.

Some picts we took at the prawning pond.

- Ame & this adorable girl that we met.

She's such a sweetie.

Introducing Ms. Ginger.

Alright... that's all for now. Time to wash up and hit the sack. ;)

A mixture of feeling...

2008-11-22T11:56:00.003+08:00

Firstly, i have been feeling sick for the past week. Despite having sorethroat, i went ktv with a couple of my colleagues on thursday night. It was a great session with the girls!!! We recorded a few videos of our crankiness for that night. I'm looking forward to another ktv session soon. :)
This time round, i will opt for a friday session cos it ain't a good idea to stay out late on a thursday nite. In addition, we even ordered beer to drink. Hence, we were like zombies at work yesterday. lol.

Anyway, i've been totally mad about shopping.

Met up with Buddy last evening. I did a bit of shopping before we headed over to the gym for some exercise. I bought two tops for about a hundred and thirty bucks. This is madness. And i didn't even try on the tops. I guess i'm kinda affected by the commotions happening this week at work. Whatever it is, i'm gonna care less and just do what i'm supposed to be doing. I'll leave the rest to fate.. to God to decide what is the right solution to the issues and problems that the company is facing at this point in time.

My baby ain't coming home this weekend. :( And i won't be seeing him until next fri/sat.

Well, i have plans for tonight. Even if i do not have any, i would prolly stay home to watch the taiwan drama. I haven't had time to catch up with the episodes. I'm like so backdated.

The Musk5 will be heading out for dinner at Seah street this evening to have a belated bday celebration for the guys, Buddy & Ps. We have a special guest, Buddy's Gf, Ms Yee Teng. This will be the second time that we meet up altogether. I hope she will enjoy our company. Cos it's either she finds us overly nuts or a fun crowd to be with. Heh. I hope it's the latter.

There is a Kanebo sales going on at Taka. Be meeting K earlier for bit of shopping before we meet the guys at City hall. Oh....... i can't wait for my prada wallet to arrive next week. And i hope my colleague can get the Miu Miu bag that both YoYo & I wanna buy. Heh.....

YoYo & I will jolly well enjoy our long leave. Heh. Will be heading to Bintan with YoYo and her relatives and friends. Thereafter, i will be heading to Malacca & KL with Baby & my parents. Woo~~ a short getaway, i like... hehehehehehe....

Alright... let me just get some good rest cos i'm gonna have a long night.

Back for updates

2008-11-11T23:12:00.003+08:00

Well well, it has been a week or so that i have not post any entries.

Not much of a happening week that has past, other than the drinking session on last Sat that had me all drained out. It was baby's sister-in-law's birthday, and we had a bbq session at his place. Thereafter, we headed out for a drink at Boat Quay, while his sister-in-law splitted ways with us headed to Club street to join her sisters.

It was a horrendous night. I had to deliver two drunkards safely back to home. And honestly, both of them are not small size man. I had a great amount of difficulty to bring them all the way back to the units. Totally madness. Hence, i got to bed as late as 7am. Or should it be early cos it was already morning whereby i could see sunlight. Anyhow, the party was a hell fun though i didn't really like the pub which we patronised. I was elated to party with Baby as we have not done this for quite sometime. Sweet~~

The past week at work was hectic due to shortage of manpower whereby one of my colleague went on compliance leave. I had to cover some duties for this two weeks that he won't be around. Nevertheless, i'm coping well and having lotsa fun at work. ;)

After this week, my colleague will be back. I will not face problem with juggling between my own duties and cover duties. In short, i can jolly well concentrate on reviewing the accounts. For the past week, at most of the time i would be pretty lost in the world. I had to think hard as of which are my main priorities and what not. It's crazy!!!

I will be having lunch with Huishan tmr. And prolly lunch with one of the Team Manager on thursday.

Looking forward to shopping spree with Luv & Sweetheart. Can't wait to sweep the house and get all the stuff that i require/want. lol. Bag, wallet, cosmetic, shoes etc. The list goes on and on...

Alright, that is all for the meantime. Will be back for more updates.

Time for lala. Sweetest dream. Nitey. ;)

UBER STRESS!!!

2008-11-07T23:07:00.003+08:00

I'm really stress. I hate this feeling!!! I hate to smile when i should be sulking or crying. I really wanna find a solution to this major problem which i faced for these many years.

I WANNA BE FREE!!!!!!!!!!

Won-der-ful Day!

2008-11-02T01:24:00.006+08:00

I was supposed to pop over to grandma's place for mahjong cum dinner, instead headed out for shopping + dinner with my family.

We made our way to IKEA and COURTS@Tampines, thereafter had dinner at Pow Sing Restaurant@Serangoon Garden. The service sucked big time, and the food tasted so-so. I swear i ain't gonna patronise the restaurant again. Then we proceeded to some KTV pub for singing. It was the second time that my family went to KTV altogether, though my parents don't sing and Mimie ain't keen in singing as well. Nevertheless, i enjoyed myself. It was kinda sad that Giko couldn't join us. We brought him along for the first KTV session like earlier this year, and he behaved well. Hence, it's really not so bad an idea to bring him along for any KTV sessions. Heh.

Received Baby's call a couple of hrs ago, and he told me that he was at some thai pub in KL. Then he text me just a while ago telling me that he shifted to another hangout. I really hope he is having fun. :)

I ain't going no where tmr. Shall stay home and watch 篮球火!!! The show is damn good. I have in mind for a basketball session with Baby on next weekend. Heh. Both of us were occupied with tennis, table tennis sessions for the past few weeks. I wanna keep this healthy lifestyle going, and perhaps to do some other exercises instead of sticking to one or two. It can get really dry doing similar stuff for many weeks, hence it is probable to interchange with our workout activities once or twice each week.

Alright... time for some photos sharing...

Bday dinner@Zenden(Gallery Hotel) for our dearest K. After which we chilled out at EM by the River located within the hotel. It's quite a cosy place to hangout especially with the right company. Here are some photos taken at Gallery Hotel...

The Bday Girl with her present...... :)

Hanging ard while waiting for A to join us..

I Love this photo!!!!

That is all folks.....

Good nite!!!!!!!!!! :)

The first day of November...

2008-11-01T12:09:00.013+08:00

I slept pretty early last nite, and woke up like 10am today. It is absolutely the appropriate lifestyle to lead by sleeping early, and waking up early.

Anyway, Baby ain't coming home this weekend. He is having fun @Genting with his NS friends, and prolly has their ass stucked to the seats in the casino. Lol.

I have no outing plans for the weekend. Will only be heading to grandma's place this evening.

I had my tresses slashed last weekend, and ta-dah~....

(My new look....)

I didn't really like the fringe at first. Well, i kinda got used to this look now. My bro's friend, D whois working in the same office as me, went around telling pple about my new hairstyle. And.. he commented that it looked helmet alike. Lol. Then, there were some of the colleagues that praised me for my new look. I never expected it will be sucha drastic change for those who couldn't recognised me at first. Some of them asked whether i had a tough time to decide to do it.. seriously, i made the decision on the same day that i had my haircut. Perhaps i'm used to bob cuts as i had to keep to this length way back in primary/secondary school days. It was like 6 yrs (pri) + 5 yrs (sec) = 11 yrs with bob hairstyle. My hair was above shoulder length for half of my life. Heh.

Anyhow, my Baby likes it. And Jason Gor can't stop calling me 'Dollie'. I like... :)

I have nothing better to do now. However, i ain't looking forward to any activities. I'm mentally & physically drained out. I need to replenish some beauty sleep.

Alright.. before i end off the entry... here are some photos to share...

(Little Princess Jody)

I Love this girl so much!!! Bought her a pair of Hello Kitty sandal, and i can't wait to put it on for her. I also bought a baby set for Little Jayden.

Here is a pict of the little handsome....

(Little Prince Jayden)

More photos to share....

Continue next entry....................

Orientation program.

2008-10-22T21:51:00.002+08:00

I attended the orientation yesterday & today.

The bunch of people who also attended the orientation were fun and loving ones. Since a couple of those i was closer with work at MT, i decided that we should meet up for lunch next week. ;)

Due to the recent financial instability, the usual venue for the orientation was donwgraded from hotel to the training hall at CT. Whatever that matters, be it cut cost or 'manage' cost.. the lunch & tea breaks were sumptuous. We had 'The Mushroom Pot' and 'Bakerzin' for yesterday and today's lunch respectively. As for tea breaks, there were burgers, chocolate banana cake, almond carrot cake, muffins, scones from Cedele, and mimosa, spring roll from Killiney Kopitiam.

The whole group was splitted into two, and parted ways to Capitol Sq & MDH respectively for site visit. The Citigold section at MDH is damn class. I wish i was a RM or something along the line, then i could attend to my clients in such a conducive environment.

Back to the people that i knew, there were Insurance Specialists, Relationship Managers, Management Associates, Citiphoners, Credit Ops etc. I exchanged contacts with a couple of them, and i hope we do stay in touch. ;)

Heading back to work after a short break. I bought mouse pad, magnets, correction tapes for office use. I can't wait to be back to my work station. Heh.

Missing my dearie dear dear dear dear dear....

Just one more day... and i'll be on leave for Fri. Woot~

It's gonna be a long weekend. Holla!!!!!!!!!

Exercise week!! Tennis, Swimming, Jogging, Gymming... i wanna do everything!! ;)

Oh yeah... and Shopping!!! lol!!

Will be meeting Luv for dinner on Fri. Gotta check out sweetheart on her schedule. My busy girl.
Hopefully she can make it. It's really time to kick some ass.

Bedtime! Sweetie dreams. :)

Jinx-ed!

2008-10-14T21:07:00.002+08:00

Lost my purse today. I have no idea when & where did i lost it. Crap. Baby's IC lost, and many other cards gone as well. Damned!!!

Feeling freaking lousy. Gonna hit the sack soon.

Birthday Celebrations..

2008-10-13T22:50:00.002+08:00

I seriously have so much to update. Too little time to spare.

03 Oct - Bday Celebration @ Helipad. Received my second present- a watch & perfume. Thk u girls!!! Although we ended early, i still enjoyed myself to the fullest with the companionship of my lovely darling girls. *Muacks. And not forgetting the cute little cupcakes. Taste great even though it was overly sweet. lol. I'll upload the photos sometime later. ;)

08 Oct - Dinner with Ame & Jo. Received another two presents. Great minds think alike. Ame bought me the Agnes b. hp strap which i wanted to get like sometime soon. And Jo bought me a pouch & a belt. Both presents.. i like!! Thks sweeties!! ;)

10 Oct - Bday Celebration @ Old School with Musk5, SL dear & Ching sweetie. We had something less usual for dinner. It was the first time that i tried Foie Gras & Escargot. To be frank, i didn't like their tastes. Perhaps i'm not the fine dining type of person. I don't even know how to appreciate champagne or red wine. lol. Anyway, it was all good. I overwhelmed when everyone (including the chef, staff and other patrons) in the restaurant sang the birthday song for me. In fact, i was rather shy. It was fabulous. I felt like a princess. lol. Thereafter, headed to coffee club for a short chillout session before home sweet home. Thk U guys for such marvellous bday experience. :)

11 Oct - My actual bday. ;) And it was also Jayden's baby shower. Pa & Mommy was invited. We spent the whole afternoon at Baby's place. After sending Pa & Mommy home, Baby and i headed for a tennis game. I was drained out, and had an early rest for the day.

12 Oct - Home sweet home. Had another game of tennis. Follow by swimming with Baby, Jason gor, Daddy, Jeffrey Gor & Jody girl. I really love Jody girl so much that i wish i have a baby like her too. Heh. Hopefully soon. I'm looking forward to this weekend to meet Jody girl again. Gonna buy her some tibits & sweets. ;)

Alright... short & sweet. I'm done. Gonna hit the sack now. Will upload the picts as and when i'm less occupied.

Goodnight everyone. Muacks.

(Missing my Baby........ )

I'm still alive!!!!!

2008-10-02T18:09:00.002+08:00

It's really time to update after missing in action for weeks.

Had a short runaway to Genting & Malacca last weekend. I enjoyed myself very much with Baby's companionship.

Time passed like hell fast, its already Oct! For goodness sake, i'm turning 24 soon. This is scary. Less than two months, i will be moving into the 25th year of living in this universe. lol. I'm gonna be in my mid twenties... shit!!! hahaha...

Anyway, i'm at home now. I worked for half a day, then headed to the clinic for consultation. I started having ear block since tue, and kinda like overlooked the problem. Then i felt really uncomfortable this morning, hence decided to take half day off from work to consult the doctor. It's apparently ear infection, however, i'll have to head back to the doctor if the problem persists. Well, seriously if its not gonna recover.. i'll head to the A&E instead.

I hope i will wake up to hear the surrounding loud and clear. Ain't wanna be deaf in a ear or two at this age.

I have a tight schedule for this weekend. It's gonna be a combine bday celebration for Jac & myself. With the girlies, we'll be heading to clarke quay for dinner.. thereafter to Helipad for chill out session.

Then it will be Kevin's wedding on Sat.

I received my first bday present. A Casio Exilim camera from buddy buddy. Heh. I'm excited to take my first shot with the camera. heh. Thanks buddy.

Following fri will be celebrating my bday with my poly mates. It's gonna be Old school for dinner! I can't wait to go back there. Nice place to chill.

I'm feeling extremely sleepy. Maybe i should take a power nap before Baby come by to pick me up. Will be heading to his place for dinner. It's kinda like a simple dinner cum bday celebration for my baby. Perhaps i should take a picture of the dishes. By the way, baby's daddy's chilli crab is one of the best that i've tasted. Sure can fight with No Signboard man. lol.

More to come.... ;)

Tick tock...

2008-09-14T15:34:00.003+08:00

Celebrated P's bday at her place yesterday. We had steamboat & chatted till like 12ish before Luv, Sweetheart & i left for Upp. Thomson for supper. Heh.

Hit the sack ard 3ish. And i was waken up by the noises whereby came from the unit directly opposite me. When i realised it was merely 7ish, i was jumping mad. However, it was a big day for my neighbour and i shouldn't be making a big fuss outta it. As i couldn't fall back to slp, i stayed up for a while to watch the happening. The groom had like almost 30 brothers to help along, while the bride had like a pathetic 6 sisters. Overpowered man. With such a huge crowd, the amount of noise they caused drew the attention of all the other neighbours. And there were 10-20 cars parked along the car park. Thank goodness it wasn't a whole day thingy. I decided to go back to sleep shortly after they left for the groom's place. Unfortunately, i was waken up once again in 2 hrs time. Cheezes.....

I don't think i should sleep anymore. Otherwise i can't sleep tonight. Heading out to meet Luv & sweetheart for heartland mall shopping. lol. Saw some cuties lacy panties at CottonOn, and i'm gonna get a few pieces. And maybe a few nice tops since i haven't been shopping for sometime.

Time to shower... if not i'm gonna be late.. wahaha.... ciaoz...

Ready to drop...

2008-09-13T11:25:00.003+08:00

I realised how less often i blog these days. The frequency of posting an entry falls to like once every two weeks.

Anyway, i'm totally drained out. It seems like i can never get sufficient hours of sleep.

Since the week started, i had so much going on at work. The workload is piling. Furthermore, i have been sleeping at the wee hours during weekdays.

Headed over to Baby's place on wednesday nite. We stayed up till like 2ish to pack his luggage. Baby flew off on thursday morning. I haven't heard from him since. :(

Met up with Luv & sweetheart for dinner on thursday. Thereafter, we headed to Helipad for a chill out session. Well, seriously...i intended to be home before midnight. However, we ended like nearly 2ish. It was a great session. Nice place with wonderful companions. I love you girls. Muacks.

I head nowhere last night. Came home after work.. and i guess i was overly tired that i dozed off at 9pm.

Woke up at 8ish this morning.. i'm still damn drowsy! I wish i could like take a power nap, but i can't. I gotta head for a shower now.. then off i go... to meet up with Luv & sweetheart. We'll be celebrating P's bday tonite. Having steamboat at her place. J will be joinin us as well. I haven't seen her for donkey years man. Can't wait to meet up with the sweetie for lotsa catching up, though we already did talked on the phone for like almost 1 hr while i was at work sometime this week. Lol.

And... thereafter, i'll have to meet up with Bud & guys for another chill out session at the same old place at Changi. Can't rem the name of the place.

It's kicking time... I wonder how long more can i sustain... work stress, tiredness, the distance between my Love & myself.....

I need to runaway from this little island for a while... anticipating the short getaway to msia in 2 weeks time..

Updates....

2008-08-30T14:39:00.002+08:00

Finally, i can take my own sweet time to blog abt the happenings for the past few weeks.

Firstly, i had my medical report. My stomach & small intestines are doing fine. The doctor did any round of examination & realised it could be my liver or gall bladder that is causing me the pain. Well, i'm rather confused with the diagnosis. The pain comes from left right up & down being centralised at my stomach area. There are many organs situated at that central position, hence it is gonna take more time to know the exact problem. I will have to do an ultrasound scan & blood test in Sep to further confirm.

Pertaining to the previous entry, i mentioned abt the situation in office. The following day, i realised the big commotion involving myself. D managed to clear the air, and suddenly a few of colleagues started to talk to me like in a different manner. What not i will stick to my principle. I will not be involved in any office politics or their internal gossips abt whoever. I will speak up, however it's gonna be related to work.

Been feeling exhausted. I was given quite a lot of medicine to take, some of which cause drowsiness.

Shall take a power nap before i head out to town to meet Luv for dinner. :) Gonna do some shopping too. Heh. Might be heading to Wala for a chill out session with the muskeeters.

I really miss Baby. Can't wait any longer for his return which is like tmr morning.

Woot~ I'll be going on a trip to Bangkok in late Oct. Excited. ;)

Have a nice weekend ahead, everyone. Peace out.

Fighting till the end..

2008-08-28T23:07:00.003+08:00

It's close to the end of August, and i'm almost into a month at the new job.

To be frank, i have a couple of issues happening at work which of i would like to blog about. However, i couldn't find an appropriate time to sit back & relax while i write a decent entry of the past happenings in the last few weeks.

Somehow or rather, i was depressed. The culture shock which left me kinda isolated myself from the surrounding people at work. D told my brother that the management was concerned about my thoughts over work. Well, i seriously feel that they should approach me instead of D. I would be more than glad to discuss further as of the areas i felt improvements should be made.

Anyway, i'm determined not to be distracted by whatsoever comments or gossips whether related to me or not. Period. I felt best that the management could pay more attention to my performance than the level of interaction between my colleagues and myself.

TGIF. I'll wrap up the review for Q1 and hand it over to my colleague. I'm already working on the Q2 reviews.

Time for bed.

Looking forward to the weekend. ;)

Beijing Olympic 2008

2008-08-10T15:20:00.009+08:00

At this moment, i'm watching the live telecast of Sync Diving 3m Sprboard, Woman Heats. I woke up at 10ish this morning in order to catch the live telecast of Swimming Heats. Actually, i could have slept till late afternoon. After all, it's the last day of the week to acquire as much rest as possible. After today, i will definitely not sleep enough. It always seemed to be so little time during the weekdays to do anything. Apart from work, i would better off be home to rest my body and mind. Most importantly, to allow my feet to be free from the blisters and pain often caused by the heels. lol.

Anyhow, i'm absolutely one loyal tv audience for the phenomenal Olympic Games, especially Swimming, Gymnastics Artistic, Diving, Badminton and Cycling segments. The Olympic Games is sensational, and it got my adrenalin going. I remember when i was still schooling, i could sit in front of the tv and watched almost every games. But as i aged, certain segments doesn't really interest me anymore.

Baby has just called, and he is equally addicted to the games. It's a shame that i can't watch the Swimming Heats for qualifying to semi-finals that is happening the same time tomorrow. Darned!!!!!!

Cheers to the Singapore Team. Despite that our country merely participate in a few games, we should give our best wishes that they attain the goals set. Good luck to Tao Li for the swimming final tomorrow.

I'm so into Michael Phelps!!! He smashed WR for gold medal for the Men's 400m Individual Medley. Two thumbs up. Way to go for this chap! He can really perform and push himself for even better results. He's none other than human just like anyone of us. Well, maybe with a bit more luck and borned talent. And no doubt that he had went through more intensive training and all. It's still so amazing! I look forward to his performance for the Final game.

And.... round of applause for the impressive swim by the Korean chap, Park Tae-Hwan, for winning the Men's 400m Freestyle and sets the Asian Record. In fact, the Koreans have never won any medals in the swimming event. He has brought glory to his country as well as the Asian people.

Lastly, also to mention about Stephanie Rice (Netherlands), who beat the WR and won the gold medal for Woman's 400m Individual Medley. She's a beauty, and her body shape is just right for a national swimmer.

A little secret in me.. i have always wanted to become a swimmer. Having to be less than 12 months old, my dad already signed me up for lessons with a swimming coach. I guess it was a form of an early childhood activity. However, i abandoned the thought of taking up professional training since primary school as a matter of fact that my mom doesn't like the idea. She was afraid that i would end up like any swimmer with very big build and broad shoulders. Lol.

I would rather be a swimmer than an obese kid. At least, i would have been more toned up and fit. Luckily, i managed to lose weight. Not so bad after all. Heh.

Alright... gotta run... Have a great week ahead!! :)

Not too bad for a start...

2008-08-10T12:26:00.005+08:00

I had successfully made it through the first week of work. Fortunately, my immediate colleagues are of the same age as me. However, i sensed that the people in my department are rather pretentious or somewhere along the line. Nevertheless, i don't resent them nor the job scopes assigned to me.

I didn't lunch with any of them since first day at work. Met up with Luv, Ching, Ps, respectively for lunch throughout the first week. I also attended a half day training at MDH with many other new hires being either the RMs, PBs, SRMs, or other sort of frontliners and backend officers. Then i was accquainted to this temp staff who belong to same department as me whereas stationed at Millenia Tower office. We hit it off well at the training, hence, met up for lunch on the 3rd day. Both of us agreed that we could relate better to one another, instead of the other colleagues from both offices. I guess it has got to do with the age gap as well as the culture in Citi. I seriously had a culture shock right from the first day of work. And i wonder how long can i withstand it. Anyway, the temp's name is Huishan, and coincidently she lives just the opposite block. A couple of my colleagues live in serangoon too.

Eversince i started working, i realised that my body and mind couldn't function properly unless i sleep enough probably like the least 8 hrs or more. It's kinda fixed in mind that i won't stay out late over the weekdays except for Fri. In fact, i popped over to Bestie's bar & restaurant for dinner and chill out session on Fri. Bumped into my new colleague who had supper at the prata house. Anyway, It was all good having to discussed about the preparation work and related issues for the major event most likely happening around the end of next year. I am too densed to realise how much work has to be done for such an event as i haven't really been wholly involved in such event. Maybe just a bit here and ther. Thank goodness. I have sucha informative and 'experienced' Luv who taught me a lot.

Luv, T and I supposedly planned to head to the bridal show at Suntec. However, it was cancelled due to the poor weather. Besides, it was NDP. I was very sure that if we were to be there in the evening, it would be very crowded. I will rather be home than to jostle with the crowd.

It has been a pleasant week except for the disturbing behaviour of someone which in turn caused quite a bit of misunderstanding and unhappiness. I can't help but to say this... those men that can't keep their mouth shut in other words will be the nosey parkers and big mouths, i hope they better stay far away from me. I learned my lesson, better not speak a single word than to allow misunderstanding to happen. From this day onwards, i will not speak to any sort of people belonging in this category be it true or not as well as those whom i hardly speak to. I won't give chance or allow such case to happen again.

I'm pretty affected and unhappy that Baby can't come home this weekend. My institution tells me that we will have even lesser time to engage on phone conversations. I really hella miss my Baby so much. And i very much look forward to the weekend to spend valuable time with him.

'We are separated from time and place, but our hearts are bonded together since the day we became the best soulmates.' Love You, Baby!

Take care...

1st Day @Work

2008-08-05T21:13:00.003+08:00

As expected, i was given stacks of notes to read. Thank goodness, i had something to help out with at the later part of the day. It wasn't that bad after all.

Baby rang me up in the morning. We spoke for a while, thereafter i was in great delight. I wish he can call like every morning. Since i can't have him around in sg, however, i hope to listen to his voice every now and then... this wishful thought just makes me feel much happier.

I'll be attending a training tmr, but i have no clue as of where it will be held. Anyway, i don't have to worry about the venue as my dept head had arranged transportation. Heh heh. I can save my feet from further injury. It is a pain in the ass to wear heels to work. I should better head out for shopping to get a few pairs of flat shoes and formal sandals.

Exhausted. I planned to hit the sack ard 10 that is half an hour away.

Baby Baby... Call me soon please.......

bringing the good news..

2008-08-03T21:33:00.002+08:00

First and foremost, i would like to break this news... i've secured myself a position in citigold. And i'll commence work on tuesday. :) I'm exhilarated to be selected yet nervous.

The weekend was fabulous...

I went on a shopping spree with Baby. It was my first experience to shop @IMM. I managed to buy a couple of formal clothing. Well, it's never sufficient. I'll definitely be buying more in time to come.

I also watched 'Money Not Enough 2', and would give a rating of 2/5. In fact, i expected something more than just the typical storyline relating to the singapore governance, culture, and the domestic affairs commonly happening in many families.

Before the weekend...

I met up with the musketeers and Mr. Wn for dinner on Thursday. We went on an adventurous outing to this place called 'Old School' situated at Mt. Sophia. This place was supposedly a school, however, it was converted to a commercial compound containing cafes and offices. It is kinda like a desolated place to go to. It took us quite a while to get there. Anyhow, it is a pleasant environment to chill out.

I'm anticipating the next adventurous outing.

I've gotta get the health checkup done tmr. Thereafter, to send the forms to the office at Millenia Tower. Lastly, to meet up with bestie for lunch, home sweet home then. I shall hit the sack in a while. Waiting for my Baby to call. :)

Spring cleaning for Difolly.blogspot!

2008-07-24T01:16:00.003+08:00

Hey..looks like i have been away for sometime, and this place here is growing dust. lol.

I successfully passed the final interview happened on tuesday morning. Well, the word 'success' doesn't comes by easily. At least i'm confident to spit that word out of my mouth as the signal received from the final interview was seemingly positive. It was merely 10 minutes interview. Short yet satisfied. I shall let fate decides, and pray for luck to shine on me.

After the interview, i met up with Luv for an early lunch. We made our way to her workstation thereafter. I stayed for a while before i headed to meet K. I was with her for the whole afternoon, and spent the whole time in kbox. It was pretty cheap to sing at that hours. The package of 5 hrs k-session with a high tea set meal each, the bill totalled up to merely thirty plus dollars. Damn worth it. lol. I was frozen by the time we get our ass moving. I was tempted to grab a cardigan from any store. Seriously. Furthermore, my feets ached pretty bad. For the many times i happened to bypass a shoe store while walking to the washroom, i felt like i should rush in to get a pair of sandals. loll. Somehow, i was rational enough to pass the thoughts, and accepted the fact that whatever heels, pumps, and sandals can kill me. It was like no point buying another pair that would likely hurt my feets. And..i have to blame myself for dumping my cardigan at home. I usually brought it along for every outings.

Yeah... and the girls met up with A for dinner after the k-session. The three of us haven't had sucha good laugh out of those silly jokes. I'm looking forward to the next meet up happening soon. Maybe.

I spoke to Baby like a while ago. He asked me if i have written a blog today, then it reminded me that i haven't blog for a week or so.

"I read your tag, baby! Your visit to Nana's blog was acknowledged!" Smooches.

Life is Unpredictable

2008-07-18T13:14:00.004+08:00

Unfortunately, after battling with cancer for almost a year, an extended family member passed away yesterday. She is merely in the 3os, and it's a shame that she can't grow old with her kids. Anyhow, we wish her well in the other world. My family will attend the wake tonight.

I told Baby about it. Somehow, i was affected. Due to the frequent aches and pain, i'm starting to worry about getting ill. You see.. i have sucha fertile imagination. And i will often suspect myself getting cancer and stuff like that.

I wouldn't say that i'm extremely weak. However, my body seemed to be breaking down bit by bit as i aged. Somehow, many parts of my body system have problems functioning properly. It's sucha pain in the ass. I really like to have at least a painless journey.

Baby told me that i shouldn't even think about too much. I shouldn't let the negative thoughts stay in me, as it will somehow affect the mental and physical development. So.. i have decided to rest the case. Whatever it is... i'm not gonna be the 'worst scenario' girl anymore. Heh heh.

Right... i had two rounds of interview with Citigold. So far so good. Although i was trashed at the second interview. lol. There is a final interview that i will need to attend sometime soon. Hopefully i can get this job. :)

Looking forward to a great weekend with my Baby. I miss him badly.

Wait and See.

2008-07-15T00:55:00.002+08:00

I guess it isn't behind time to realise that i need to get my ass off the sofa, and hit the gym for some decent workouts. My waist and thighs are getting thicker, and especially my butt growing bigger. lol. I used to panic whenever my weight escalates, whereas i'm totally calm over it now. I know pretty well that i haven't been well disciplined in terms of physical fitness. I'm looking at losing a few kilos in one or two months. There is no rush, and i will take it slowly and steadily. Just wait and see my reformation. Hehe.

While expecting a call from Baby, i'm on facebook and also shopping online. There aren't apparels that caught my eyes though.

Seriously. I'm extremely excited. I can barely wait to lie on my new bed. I believe i will be very comfortable sleeping on it. Heh Heh.

One thing to celebrate!! I persuaded Papa to cook mee siam this coming friday. The recipe for the mee siam was passed on to him by my grandmother, who was really best at it. Whether it was before or after my grandmother's death, Papa would always cook mee siam for every occasion that involved my family and the extended family. However, he never cooked again after diagnosed with depression that happened around the last decade. Having to be the only person to own this recipe, it would be a shame if Papa does not pass it on to anyone else. It will be wasted. Therefore, i have decided to take this opportunity to learn it from him. I suck at cooking, and i pray hard that i can master it. Well, I can finally taste it in time to come. This is so exhilarating!! Woo hoo~

I'm gonna end off with a note...

Specially to Tracy dear. I miss you.. miss you... miss you like crazy!! You should believe me now. lol.

A Wonderful Weekend.

2008-07-14T00:30:00.002+08:00

Yesterday's picnic at the East Coast Park was all good, except that Pa caught a flu at the end of the day. It was a hot and sunny afternoon. However, the weather took a turn. It was damn chilly in the evening after sunset. When the sea breeze began, it felt pretty much like we were in an air-conditioned room. Thereafter, we started to freeze. I guess Papa wasn't physically strong enough to go through the drastic change of weather. Anyway, Baby managed to join us shortly after we reached. I'm talking about lotsa fun and laughters. The first time that my family went on an outing altogether. A total of 7(including Giko). lol. And seriously, Papa and Mommy were more excited and enthusiastic about the picnic. They woke up rather early to prepare the food. Prolly due to inexperience cos it was after all the first time, they prepared an exceeding amount of food, drink and dessert. Hence, we had lotsa leftover food at the end of the day. Overall, it was a heartwarming session.

I went over to Baby's place thereafter. My baby had diarrhea since friday. I felt really helpless when i woke up this morning upon hearing him called me in pain. His condition was slightly improved before he headed back to Malacca. Thank god.

Still waiting for my Baby's call. My eye lids are like damn heavy now. I can doze off on my study desk at any time. Sleepy head.

One more day to the arrival of my new sofa bed. Woo hoo~~

Whatever...

2008-07-12T02:29:00.000+08:00

Not too good for the start of the day. Nevertheless, i put it behind quickly.

I met up with SJ and WL for dinner at Cartel Bishan. For the previous gathering, we had dinner at the same cafe. lol. Anyway, i had a great time catching up with the girls. And i'm glad WL liked the birthday gift that we bought her. :)

I'm pretty excited about the picnic with my family tomorrow. The first time ever.

Hopefully, my baby could join us after he comes back to Sg.

Gotta wake up slightly earlier to prepare food for the picnic. Heh.

May my baby get well soon. I'm looking forward to see him tomorrow. :) Love. Muackz.

Lovely...

2008-07-11T02:42:00.000+08:00

Had a displeasing dinner at Aerin's today. I felt that the food standard is somehow below average. Nevertheless, the guys finished their food. We initially planned to settle for a movie thereafter. And apparently the guys were really not keen to catch the movie 'Hancock', we chilled at Starbucks instead. It was an unelaborated bday celebration. Simple yet pleasurable. I always enjoy myself when i'm out with the Musketeers and the beloved Wn. There is a need to say this.. I Love you guys so much. :)

I'm feeling a little in discomfort right now. It's probably due to not hearing from Baby. I'm addicted. It became a habit that i have to talk to him every night before i hit the sack. Well, i don't blame him for not calling. Anyhow, he already texted me in the afternoon to inform me about his busy schedule. I still hope he can call though.

There is a major happening tomorrow. Wish me good luck. :)

The lovely weekend is about to check in. Heh. Baby baby come to me. lol.

The following week will be even better. I'm anticipating a perk. lalalala....

Overjoyed.

2008-07-10T02:42:00.000+08:00

The sofa bed will be delivered to my place next tue. I'm seriously overly excited to wait till next week.

Pa's health condition is considered alright, except for the high cholestrol level. Whereas i was told by the doctor to do a endoscopy in order to find the main cause of the acute pain in the stomach. And i'll be heading back to the hospital on the 1st of the next month to do it. Following will be the ultrasound scan on a separate day, if necessary.

I happened to bump into a poly mate, Zx, at the hospital. The last time i saw him was back then in poly days. Eversince something unfortunate happened on him, we merely communicated through msn. When i first came to know about his health condition, i was rather upset. Having to see him in the current state, it still saddened me. On the other hand, i'm very glad that he remains positive. I'll continue to pray for miracle to happen on my friend..a full recovery.

Time for bed again. I'm gonna meet Baby in lala. Really miss my Baby like crazy. Strive harder, baby. I have faith and confidence in you to achieve your goals. :)
MUACKS! Love.

I like...

2008-07-09T02:42:00.002+08:00

I realised that i'm coping well. I'm definitely less depressed, and seemed to be way more positive than before. *thumbs up

Headed to the pasar marlam @cwp. M & I bought some tees. We bought two similar designs of the same colour so we could wear it together for our next outing. In fact, we will be wearing it tmr. ;) I guess the last time i bought same stuff as my girlfriends would prolly be during secondary sch days. lol.

Anyway, mommy is on the late shift, therefore she will accompany us to the medical appointments. And...she will most likely be getting a new bed for nana. Yeahness. I'm eyeing on a sofa bed. Heh.

Alright...time for bed.

Loony Goofy......

2008-07-08T02:07:00.005+08:00

Introducing my brother's girlfriend, Mimie.

Both of us were totally bananas. In fact, there were funnier pictures. Too many to upload. lol.

There you go.. my naked face.

- KungFu Panda's facial expression.. identical dark eye rings.

- I like this picture without the double chin. Heh.

My neighbours thought we are sisters. Not once but many times that people commented that we look alike. Well, we think otherwise. Then we came up with an idea to put halves of our faces together. Here it is...

SUPER DUPER CORNY!! Do we really look somewhat alike? I really don't think so.

Busy busy, so busy...

2008-07-08T00:59:00.003+08:00

Baby and I watched two comedical movies for the past two weekends. Golly. It felt marvellous to have our own lovey dovey time together. Well, both movies were hilarious and very entertaining.

'Don't mess with the zohan' & 'Get Smart'. Next up... Hancock? 21? Wanted, maybe.

My schedule for the week is pretty packed. I have a medical appointment at TTSH on wednesday afternoon. It so happened that Papa's medical appointment falls on the same day however in the morning. Hence, Mimie and I will accompany him to the appointment. Thereafter, she will accompany me to TTSH. Heh. I guess Papa will be more than willing to tag along.

Then i have a gathering for dinner on the following day. The musketeers will meet up to celebrate one of our buddy's birthday. I miss Mr. Weinuo(the birthday boy), seriously. We can never quit throwing lemons at each other. In short, it meant 'suan-ing'. loll. Let me practice the skills before seeing him. Heh.

On friday, i will be seeing two girlfriends for dinner. We will have a belated birthday celebration for one of them. And i just remember about the gift that is unsettled. *headache

Anyhow, it has been a long while since i last met the majority of those whom i will meet on both occasions. I certainly look forward to seeing them. Cam-whoring, bitching, gossiping, and poking fun at one another. It's definitely gonna be fun, fun, and more fun. :)

Then it will be the great weekend again. Any special plan install for me, baby? ;) I am hoping for surprise. lol.

For the past week, i was devastated. Nevertheless, i believe that the perpetual and solid connection between us will bring us through with no fears of whatsoever obstacles that can interfere the relationship.

I have absolute faith in both of us. <3

Short and sweet.

2008-07-03T14:31:00.002+08:00

The previous week was hideously bad. I won't go into details as the issue was resolved. Thank god. Otherwise, i would have prolly ended up in bad shape.

The S4 gathered to celebrate Sweetheart's birthday at O Bar on last friday. :)

And the same clique met up last night to celebrate Ame's birthday. The initial plan was to head to Boiler room. We entered the Powerhouse instead. Then to Boiler room, and finally Movida. Not too bad.

Coming up...another friend's birthday to celebrate.

For the month of June and July, i have a total of 7 birthdays to celebrate. Madness.